See ya

HIATUS


Till April 13th




-Spring break April 4th!!






See ya strangers! <3

Help?

My dentist

Is a perve.

He called me a babe.

Isn't that gross?! He's 55 and I'm 15! "Man, what a babe." He said, to me. I just sat there stunned. A fresh wave of fear choked me into silence. He even said that boys must come up to me at school and he even asked if I was dating. How am I to tell my parents? Callie is begging me to tell. Other wise, he might try something else. I'm so friggin scared he'll try to molest me or something. He's been cleaning my teeth ever since I was three years old.

Song of the Week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ9uCiPBIWc

We can all relate to this song.
No more drama.
But will it stop?
No.
Because in this world, people care.
But the little things we do, do nothing.
We all gave up all long time ago.
And now we must wait.
Till its finally over.


Song-"No more drama."- Mary J. Blidge

Date Talk

You are not in love.
Dating is beautiful, but it takes a lot of communication and trust for it to "work." Kids my age fail to understand that. When you're 15, relationships aren't so serious. When you're 16, relationships get a little bit crazy and emotional. Most of them are meaningless and just a simple desire of the opposite sex. In others, the relationships are fake. And the relationships in middle school are just downright stupid. Both freshmen year and middle school relationships only last for weeks and communication is only through endless text messages. I understand that in high school(especially in freshmen year) dating should not get too serious. After all, none of us are really planning to get married soon, correct? Dating in high school should be fun and pure. Kids who find themselves talking about children and marriage with their current boyfriend/girlfriend are going too far, thinking too far ahead, and giving their hearts away too quickly. I can already see my friends heading down that road. These days, couples face pressure to do things that would bring shame and despair. Especially the boys.

I speaking through the many observations I have noted in my mind throughout my whole freshmen year. One other thing I have noticed is that, many teenagers date people who they cannot imagine marrying. A friend once told me that dating is the preparation for marriage, and if you are kissing and holding hands with someone who cannot possibly imagine sharing the same roof with, what are doing that relationship? That is why, my dear strangers that we must choose our campanions wisely. We must be able to converse and avoid compromising situations. Doing those things in high school is quite difficult for us teenagers. Feelings change at a rapid pace and hormones and emotions that are ever so deep, run high but don't last for eternity. And that is why, teen relationships don't last.

Or perhaps these somewhat bloodcurdling, exhilirating emotions do last. These days, it's all about the hookups and sex. Hardly anyone is waiting for their true beloved. But, I am. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for that one special man. I actually won't mind having a boyfriend, although dating is not allowed.(To my dad, that is NEVER allowed. Then again, he hopes I will marry someday. Lol!) Dating is a distraction though, and I really need to concentrate on my spiritual life and my schoolwork. My expectations are quite high. Well not really. I have a throbbing heart for sweethearts- the kind and shy boys. I focus on other things but, I still keep my eyes open. Just like any other girl, I still look at cute boys- the boys I see everyday at school and the celebrity hotties. We all want to be admired by someone. It's a natural feeling, a natural bond that God blessed us with. Some are desperate and some are just waiting.

I use to be the desperate one. But the so called "need" was not conspicuous at all. It wasn't a trait people would automatically take from my spoken words. I was so desperate that I started to enter and search for chat rooms trying find some boy.It is almost every girl's dream to achieve male attention, and it is almost every boy's dream to feel a women's affection. I admit that I wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend, but I don't take any sort of action to please my curiosity. When it comes to dating with teenagers, we tend to be really flirtatious and get we really excited when it comes to meeting cute boys or girls. One day, my sister and I had this incredibly cute pizza boy deliver our pizza, and he even watched him drive away. There is this boy I met at my church during the Christmas season and wow, he is HOT and... he's older.Lol, his name is Josh and he is such a sweetie. Boys often inquire why us girls like older boys and then us girls just simply say, "The maturity level." One question that boys inquire(which really gets under my skin) is, "Why do girls like bad boys?" I don't. The media tells them we do, but a lot of girls' hearts melt over a sweetie pie.

It is a wonderful feeling to be infatuated. Most teenagers are not in love. They confuse infatuation with love. They claim they are in love and then they wonder why the relationship shattered and bruised. It is possible to discover true heart burning love as a teen but, most of us haven't developed the maturity of adult love. We're too young to give ourselves up. We have plenty of time to search and find.

Maybe, I am ready to hold someone's hand but this gal is not chasing after anyone.

Boy, if you want me, come and find me.

Good Friday

Hey! Good morning.

No school today. Or Monday. :) So very happy about that. I'm trying to get my homework out of the way. It's not much, thank God. Hmm, nothing much going on. I will probably update later today.

(I know that was kind of pointless but, I just felt like updating)

Holy Thursday

YAY!! Easter break. No school till next Tuesday of next week. So awesome! I got out of at noon, because it's Holy Thursday. This was a really good week. I haven't had a good week in quite some time. Surprisingly, I aced my algebra test. This is the second algebra test I passed this semester.

Don't laugh. :)

Math is hard when you have dyscalcula. It sucks but, what can I do? I felt really bad when my friend Meg didn't do as well as she thought. She worked harder than I did. "I'm going to beat you on the next test." She said. Gosh, how I hate competitions.

See ya. <3

Like, Whoa!

Oh Snap!
I'm going to college! For three weeks over the summer! I can't believe my teachers selected me to be in a program where high school students can go to college and study. I am shocked. What have I done to deserve such an honor? I mean, it's not like I made 95's on every subject. Lol, I'm really excited! I get have a dorm and everything. It's going to be an amazing experience. The only problem is, is that I need money for the tuition.

:(
Callie got accepted to the program as well and we are going to raise money together. How? We haven't an inkling but, we will find a way.

Wow. I had a good day. :) Hahaha, I can't believe it's Monday. I hardly had ANY homework. I am mirthful. I actually get to sleep. Anyway, nothing much went on today. The creep was hitting on me today in algebra class. He made a very sweet comment about my smile at large, but I know for sure he wasn't being sincere. Then again, it was a little random...and abashing. Gosh, his flattery makes me want to barf. I'm sorry I know that is really boorish and all. He purposely slammed into me in the hallway and he follows me. "I'm sorry."he said, with a flirtatious smile. I'm sorry but, the creep has a really sick mind. I can't handle him. And, he thinks I'm cute.

See ya, strangers.

<3

Song of the Week

-"Hallelujah"By Paramore

Don't play with my emotions

Don't play with my emotions.

Because I can feel those words you speak.

Your lies are the dark whispers that put me too sleep.

Your face haunts me in my dreams while

My heart twists with ecstasy.

Don't play me. Don't play with my emotions.

Because, I can feel every wound you give me,

The pain is so real.

Don't test me, don't try me.

Hi!
Ugh, what a terrible week. I had loads of school work(what's new?) and all sorts of drama. I had a good day yesterday, though. I went to the mall with one of my good friends, Lexi. It was great! We shopped for hours and hours, gawking at cute boys, and cooing over cute clothing. We had these REALLY REALLY cute college boys as our cashiers. (at Abercrombie) They actually conversed with us high school freshmen girls. <3 Today, wasn't so great. I did some service hours with Callie and afterwards, we went out to lunch with her grandma. Since then, I've been home studying.

:(

I really hate studying. I'm always studying. Ugh. I love, love, LOVE my school so much but, my teachers give me too much work. I'm really looking forward to Spring break. CALIFORNIA!!! Finally, I can surf again. Oh, I can almost feel those waves envelope me in everlasting bliss and tangling in my hair. I love surfing.

Lol, I really don't feeling like writing right now.

Song of the Week

Let these lyrics capture your mind.
Let these lyrics trace from your lips
And scatter in your dreams.

(Song by Underoath"Some Seek Forgiveness While Others Escape")

R.I.P


MR. Robert Irvin of Lanier Middle

A great father. A wonderful husband. An unforgettable coach. A hard working teacher.

Rejection

Rejection hurts. At times,rejection is the truth. Sometimes, rejection can be a good thing but, no one likes feeling bad. We all know the feeling, the feeling of your self esteem plummeting and sinking to a dangerous level. You start to think that you are simply not "good enough" for anything and you wonder if you should try again. Tears may fall, or anger might be felt. And then, you move on quietly. You don't make a scene and you fuss no longer. Sometimes, rejection straightens and motives us to work harder. Humans know the feeling of rejection too well. Some are immune to being pushed down consistently. After all, rejection can be anything. It hurts. It hurts everyone. Rejection is not suppose to be a wonderful feeling. As humans, you must ready yourself for disappointments.

I wish I looked Like...

Vanessa Anne Hudgens




She's so beautiful.

And I am


Not.

Boredom

What a horrible day. I didn't do one exciting thing. At this moment, I'm in the middle of homework. Just taking a break. My parents don't understand the fact that young people like to go out and enjoy themselves. I think it's like that with all adults. They fail to understand that young people naturally like to be out and explore. To have some sort of excitement. We don't like to be bored. Since we are limited, we can't do much. The adulthood is bitter and cold. A world I will soon enter. My parents divulge themselves in work that they simply don't have anytime to take me and my sisters out. I cannot wait to get my permit this coming summer. I turned 15 last month but I really want to study for it and pass. During the school year I'm just too busy. Gosh, I am so bored. My life is just boring. I try to make something happen but nothing conjures from the attempts. Perhaps I should just go back to studying. No. I rather write to you, my dear strangers. So tell me, what would like to know?

If Life wasn't so diffcult to bare... People will be alot happier.

Hello!
Gosh, it's been awhile since I've updated. Sorry. Terribly busy week. I meant to update yesterday but, I was too lazy. Lol. After all, it's weekend. I must say, this week went by quickly. I had soo much to do! I deserve this break. Anyway, nothing much has happened. Things haven't been going on so well. I'm actually feeling a bit down lately. The littlest things seem to get to me now. It sucks. My life sucks. If life wasn't so difficult to bare, then people will be a lot happier. As usually, I cannot explain myself, but you agree don't you? In this world, you can't get anything. You can't change anything. Why? Because, people still hold on to past. We can still feel the pain we lost a few seconds ago, the rejection that scarred your life years ago, and the tears that fell just hours ago. Wounds don't seem to disappear.

You must think of me as a bitter person. That, I look at life through a blurry lens. If you really know me, you would see me as a girl who is just baffled and hurt. When I look at society, I wonder why teenagers are to blame. I have to say that, you adults are to blame. You say that teenagers are idiots, that we "think we know everything"( A phrase that many adults use angers me sooo much. It's blunt, overused, and just downright immature.) You adults have no hope for teenagers. You look at us as hormonal failures, stubborn, and wild. Yes, we do make mistakes but you adults, make disasters. After all, adults are the ones who form the society. Not teenagers. I'm tired of you adults complaining. Just look at yourselves for once.


I'll stop there before I really lose it.

"If life wasn't so difficult to bare... people will be a lot happier." That quote speaks for itself. Ponder on it.

Phone Calls

It's Saturday night and I am sooo terribly bored! I haven't anywhere to go and there are no good books to read! This is so sad. I really don't want to do my homework either... I don't have much. I'll just do it tomorrow morning. Anyway, the thrift shop was alright. I volunteered with a lot of elderly people. They were really nice and were proud of my work. One woman was telling a bit of gossip. It was unnecessary but I listened attentively and smiled politely as she babbled. The thrift shop is really a boring place to volunteer. I would like to bring a huge group of my friends and my sisters next time. I think the other volunteers would like that. Oh, but I wish I was volunteering with my heart not because of school. Shamefully, I feel as if doing service projects for credit, like another long assignment. I couldn't help but look forward to the end and I glanced at the clock repeatedly.
*sigh*

I would really like for someone to call me. A friend of mine (whom I haven't spoken to in three months) randomly called me last Saturday. I was thrilled! I was so happy to hear his voice. He was on punishment since November sixth or so. Since then, I haven't heard anything.I love getting phone calls and text messages. It reassures me that someone is actually thinking of me. And they would like to hear my voice and listen to my thoughts. So remember strangers, when someone calls you, smile and pick up. After all, phones do have a lot of meaning. I can be on the phone for hours and hours chatting with my galfriends. Sometimes, phone calls can be really sweet and memorable, or they can cause some sort of angst and pain. A phone can be meaningless. They can draw people closer or send them apart.Words are powerful, dear friends. That is why, phone calls are stories.

Survey

Name:	Steffie Rose
Birthday:	February 5, 1993
Birthplace:	Jacksonville, Florida
Current Location:	Some where in Georgia
Eye Color:	dark brown
Hair Color:	black
Height:	5' 2''
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	African-American (Ghanian also a little bit of Dutch and German as well!)
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Pink Ballet flats
Age:	15
Your Fears:	Failing at life.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Pepperoni!!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Making straight A's throughout highschool
Celebrity Crushes:	Nick Jonas, Ryan Sheckler, Shia Leabouf, Zac Efron, JJ from NLT, Patrick Breeding from B5, Brad Pitt, David A. from American Idol, Teddy Geiger...
Rap or rock?	Rock! Rap is gross.
Your Best Physical Feature:	My hair. Lol
Obama or Clinton	I like both.
Your Most Missed Memory:	Childhood
Do you Swear:	No
Do you Sing:	Yes
Do you Shower Daily:	Yes
Have you Been in Love:	No. Just infatuated.
Do you want to go to College:	Yes!!
Do you want to get Married:	Yes!!!! And start a family.
Do you belive in yourself:	Sometimes.
Favorite flower	Red and white roses.
Do you think you are Attractive:	No, not really.
Are you a Health Freak:	No
Do you get along with your Parents:	Sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	They're kind of exciting.
Do you play an Instrument:	The Violin for four years. Guitar next!
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Heck no.
In the past month have you Smoked:	Heck no.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	never
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	Yes!! Sadie Hawkins Dance! My first date<3>
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yeah! Last weekend and I'm going today.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Mmmm that sounds good right now.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	No
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Never had a boyfriend.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Uh, gross much?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Of course not.
Ever been Drunk:	No
New York or California	California! Spring break!!!
Texting or talking on the phone?	Phone. I talk a lot. Lol.
What country would you most like to Visit:	France
Are you romantic?	Yes. :)
Religion	Roman Catholic
Grade	9th. Go Freshmen!!!
Do you have a crush?	Yes!
Favorite Food	Italian
Summer or winter	Summer!
Favorite Holiday	Christmas. People seem to get closer around the holiday season.
First kiss?	Still waiting... :)
Favorite actresses	Emma Watson, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Hudson, Vanessa Hudgens... can't think right now lol.
Favorite Television show	Degrassi... when it's apporiate.
Favorite singer:	Mariah Carey!!

Hello! Good morning. Happy Saturday. I am sooo happy it's the weekend. I'm not doing much today. I'm volunteering three hours of my time at the St. Vincent De Paul thrift shop for service hours. I might catch a movie afterwards with my sister and probably make some phone calls. My weekends are pretty boring and since my friends and I cannot drive nor do we live close to each other. I have cohorts scatter all over Georgia. I have a huge group of them that live close by but, since I go to a different school, I never see them or talk them as much anymore. There are some friends that I have that I haven't seen since the last day of eighth grade. I wish there was a school dance of some sort-something to look forward to. I never really have anything to look forward these days.