Monday, August 1, 2011

How Highschool Changed My Life

Freshmen Year:
August 2007, I was the happiest girl on the planet.
Because I got accepted into the best highschool in the world, and all my hardwork in middle school had paid off. I was so ready for the next four years of my life. I remember putting on that uniform skirt, buttoning my polo, and tying those silly Saddle shoes. Gosh, so many memories.
Remember my first day so well. The weather was gorgeous, my hair was curled, and I could hardly eat breakfast. That day I couldn't find my friends so I ate lunch with a bunch of grumpy Sophomores. That day was one of the highlights of my freshmen year.
I already found my new bestfriends- Mel, Maggie, Alexis, and Evan. I met Mel, Alexis, and Evan, at a summer camp and Maggie on the first day of school. Highschool is about finding your bridesmaids, right?
Already got 'em.
Freshmen year was a party. And I loved being in a Catholic private school as well. I made so many new friends and was really trying to find a new place and a new identity. I ditched glasses for contacts, converse for ballet shoes, and I was slowly but surely coming out my shell.
And of course finding you, the blogworld.

Soundtrack of Freshmen Year:(Can't remember much)
1.Crank Dat Soulja Boy
2. Flyleaf Album: All Around Me
3. Seven Days Without You- Teddy Geiger
4. Stronger by Kanye West
5.Love Song- Sara Barielles

Sophomore Year
This is the first year that I officially met Lady Mascara and Madam Foundation. Makeup was rapidly becoming my dependence. I felt girly, thus I felt happy. I also had this strange obession with hair bows because I wanted to become a cheerleader so very badly. I was viciously teased by one "friend'', but I didn't care. I didn't wear bows to please anyone but myself. I eventually did get into cheer and tumble outside of school and I enjoyed it. Although, my mother is fully convinced that because of tumbling I lost most of my boobs. Having Obama elected was pretty awesome as well. I come from a Democratic family in general and it's pretty cool that Obama is the first black president! But most importantly I've discovered something far more incredible, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, amazing...
God's love.
I would go to holy Mass on Sundays and just simply go through the motions- pray, sit, kneel, stand, "Peace be with you", etc. My heart was not really into the Mass as much as it should of have been. I needed a push, a shove, something that would shake me until tears would spill out my eyes. And I got that. Right on my Confirmation retreat in September 2008. I have described my amazing experience consistently on here. Camp Covecrest, the place where life is just so beatuiful and full of God's love... where all you do is praise and worship with your brothers and sisters in Christ.
That's exactly how life is supposed to be.
I came back home with the most incredible spiritual high, immense joy, and everlasting mirth. That's how I am most of the time. Because of Covecrest, I am a much sweeter person. I am more patient, and make God the absolute center. My sophomore year diary only consists of letters to God. I love that diary dearly.
This year was also the year I met my first love, my first kiss, my first date- Chris Angel(no not the Magician guy). I've talked about him alot on here also. Although our relationship has been in the past, I will always have a place in my heart for him. No matter how much it hurt at the end.You can never get rid of your first love. It's impossible, really.
Soundtrack of Sophmore Year:
1. "God of This City"-Chris Tomlin
2. "I wanna be"- Chris Brown
3."Love Story-Mariah Carey
4."Angel"- Jack Johnson
5."Banana Pancakes"-Jack Johnson
6."Forever"-Chris Brown
7."Forever"-Edison Glass
8."Such a State-Edison Glass
9."I Wonder"- Kanye West
10."Big Brother-Kanye West
11."Just Dance"- Lady Gaga
12. "Closing Down the Pattern Deparment- Daphne Loves Derby
13. Simple, yet starving to be safe- Daphne loves Derby
14."Best I ever had- Drake
15. Boom Boom Pow-Black Eyed Peas
16. Starstruckk-30h!3
17. "Yes We Can"- Naked Brothers Band
18."You Belong With Me"- Taylor Swift
19." Day N' Nite"- Kide Cudi

Junior Year
Worst year.
End of story.
Stress, stress, stress, stress and more stress. Besides officially exploring the world of modeling,I made the cheerleading squad and ended up being miserable. Chemistry class was my nightmare, and my family suddendly went down to shambles. My parents need a divorce, honestly. Too many things happened. I'm so thankful to have really great friends around and religion teachers around. I'm so glad I have my faith to hang on to. Those family hardships taught me many valuable lessons and it will affect me for the rest of my life. Since those experiences are so personal, I rather not elaborate on here solely because this is the internet.
My first prom was great. My date, Ralph suddenly became my boyfriend (now ex) and then that following summer Ralph turned out to be gay, I finally obtained a driver's license, and went to my first official highschool house party and hated it.

Soundtrack of Junior Year:
1. "Meet me halfway"- Black Eyed Peas
2. Drake's Album: Thank Me Later
3. Janita songs
4. "Paint Me Over"- Amerie
5."Love is Here"- Tenth Avenue North
6."Say Something"-Drake
7."Stillness Is the Move"-Dirty Projectors
8."I'm Ready"-Alicia Keys
9."Summer Nights"-Rascal Flats
10."Worry About You"- 2am Club
11."Clarity"-John Mayer
12."Party In Your Bedroom"

Senior year and Now
FANTASTIC. And it went by so fast! The college application process was stressful and things got real and emotional at the end of the year. Leaders of the school,us seniors turned heads with our designed senior sweaters, t- shirts, pranks, and confidence. It was so much fun.( Graduation was absolutely beautiful.) And I met the most incredible guy on this earth who I am currently in love with. Literally, for the first time I have truly fallen in love and it's the glorious feeling. He is my bestfriend. I've been through some heavy family stuff and he's been on my side all along. He didn't bail, he stayed. His name is Brad, Brad Incredible. I also had a life altering experience- finding out that I have an older brother living in South Carolina. I was so shocked, hurt, surprised, and happy that I have an older brother because I've always wanted one, but the fact that he was literally kept away from my sisters and I is hurtful and mindblowing. My sisters and my brother do not have a clear reason why he was kept away. We have yet to find out the reason. I cannot believe my sisters and I went through are whole lives not knowing that there's another memeber out there wanting to see us and meet us and love us so very badly. I just pray that I will have a much better home life when I create my own family.
I got my first job (model position at Hollister & Co and finally my first car!(A 2000 black Lexus suv!) And phone calls from different agencies.
I am in love with my highschool. It's seriously the best school I have ever been to, and I am completely blessed. I have met some of the most amazing people inside and out of my school. And most importantly, my highschool experience changed me.
Actually, for the better.
I am stronger, wiser, and more confident then I was when I first walked through those golden gates.

1. "Good Evening"- Mac Miller
2. "Boys of Fall"- Kenny Chesney
3. "Dirt Road Anthem"- Jason Aldean
4. "Rocketeer"-Far East Movement
5."Still Got It"-Drake
6."You Give Me Something"-James Morrison
7. "Only Exception"-Paramore
8. "Party Rock Anthem"-LMFAO
9."All Black Everything"-Lupe Fiasco
10." O Children"-Nick Cave
11. "Moment For Life"Nicki Minaji
12."I Wish"-Skee Lo
13."Only You Can Love Me This Way"-Keith Urban
14."If I Die Young"- Lady Antebellum
15."Hold It Down"-J. Cole
16."You Are"-Charlie Wilson
17."All My Life"-KC& Kojo
18. Gosh... can't choose haha.

I'm so ready for my brand new story.
Thankyou, Highschool.
Thankyou for showing me things that I needed to see, realizing that things in this world require hardwork and people aren't always nice. Thankyou for throwing me obstacles, for the tears I shed over academics, the stupid boy troubles, and cutting out the people out of my life that were not meant to be. Thankyou for the wonderful dances, the football games, the sleepovers...
Thankyou for everything.
Thankyou for the memories.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

A brand new story

So summer has come and gone.
I'll be attending college in three weeks. It's amazing. I've had this blog for all of highschool, and I still have it for college. Sure, I haven't updated in months, days, and that's because I've had many things going on and of course, enduring the most intense writer's block I have ever had. I also believe that the blog world is slowly dwindling down.
I don't like that.
I now have a new goal- never stop blogging. I now have a brand new story.
As of right now, I am launching my modeling career one day at a time. It isn't easy, and boy it's an investment, but it's totally worth it. I have a really big shoot coming up very soon. Besides that, I've declared myself officially and ludicrously in love. It'll be seven months next week. I couldn't be happier.
And now marks the beginning of my brand new story.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I'm still here...

I just need a little inspiration.
A push, or better yet a shove.
A real hard one.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Prayer for the Broken Hearted

“God, you care deeply for broken-hearted people. This is a promise you make: You are close. We pray for all those who are crippled by broken relationships. Our hearts take the blow of disappointment. We feel crushed because our hopes are dashed. God, heal broken hearts. We cannot fix our own wounds. But you can. If pieces of our heart have been lost, or are held captive by another, recover them and bring them back to us and miraculously “put us back together” so that our heart is whole again. You are a mender of broken hearts. We ask for this miracle, in the name of Jesus.”

Thursday, March 3, 2011

You have no idea...

How much highschool has changed me.
Want proof? Just check out my previous posts from three years ago.
I really want to elaborate on this, because it's so important and I want you readers to know. Soon, very soon when I have more time, I will speak up.
After all, you are my lovely strangers...
Who know me best.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dear God

Dear God,
I am just so happy to be alive.
Nothing amazing or extravagant has happened to me at the moment, but tonight I'm feeling really at ease. Peaceful...
I know good things are coming. I have faith in You. I have no doubt in my mind.
You know.
I wish I can see your beautiful face, Lord. I picture you as a gentle and loving Grandfather. When I'm feeling melancholy, I wish you had a cellphone. But I love prayer so much.
My heart loves it more.
My heart and I... well, we're two separate people. My mind takes over my body, and my heart takes over my soul. Does that make sense? My heart is the most powerful tool that is apart of me. It can override everything. Even the definition of my soul...
What is my soul? ...WHO am I, Lord?
I've been feeling so distant from You. I'm longing for You. I don't want to lose this... this....

Saturday, February 5, 2011

18th Birthday

I AM so happy.
AND excited.
I'm finally 18. God is SO good. Thankyou so much for giving me another year.
TODAY IS GOING TO BE AMAZING. 18th birthday on a Saturday? SUCH A GIFT.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February 3rd

I've been thinking about you alot. Yeah... you.
This blog here that I've had for nearly three years now. The twenty fifth will mark the date. I'm not letting this blog go, but I've come to terms that I honestly do not have much time to update frequently anymore. It's second semester senior year and there's still a lot things for me to do. I was terribly occupied last month and I will continue to be occupied. I love this blog though, to bits and pieces and I do appreciate my readers. I hope to pick up blogging when summer strikes up again. Ah summer. I'm so sick of this cold weather.
But anywho, I'm not necessarily going on a long 'hiatus'. I will update again. Maybe sometime next week, or the week after that I don't know...
Life has been pretty good. School is becoming a real drag. I'm getting closer and closer to my friends each day though, which would make leaving highschool even harder. I actually love highschool and I will hope to post a story about my highschool years. I'm graduating on May 14, and I'm fighting senioritis. My grades are alright, but I'm really trying to improve. I'm turning 18 in two days and today, I'm celebrating my first full month with a extremely special boy.
I have finally found Troy.
And yes, I think it's about time that I get rid of CHRISTMAS MUSIC on here. Lol:). I miss the holidays...