Saturday, November 29, 2014

Who are you again, Rose Valentine?

Six years ago when I started this blog, I discovered bits and pieces of myself that I was hiding from the woman who was blinking right back at me in the mirror. Six years ago, I was afraid of my own intense emotions. I was afraid of what people could do to me.
Now, as a new woman I want to talk about how this blog has helped me grow, presently. I think it is very important for all of us to recognize who we are when we wake up in the morning, and not at the end of the day based on how people  interacted with us. How sweet is it to lay down to sleep, realizing that your own flaws were not used as weapons, just because someone viewed you as distasteful? Knowledge is  empowering. When we walk into a room, head held up high, and with ears ready to listen, we become better people. Cliche indeed, but the way we think truly affects how we treat other people. I like to know how people think and feel because it helps me become more aware of how life works. It's not all about us as individuals. God created us in communities for a reason.
 I am extremely open as you can see. Even books get envious. I'm kidding, but I believe my desire to connect with people contributes as to why I am not afraid to be vulnerable.
I am a woman who isn't afraid to feel, but a 21 year old college student who doesn't understand her own future. I am a human being who is emotional, but views it as a strength because I know how to love shamelessly. I am an adult who loves adventure, but aware of the fact that my faith is a necessary shield.
I look forward into growing more and more each time I post on here. This is my cure, another desire fulfilled to connect.

Thursday, November 27, 2014


Writing is everything to me. Time and time again, I told myself that I would keep up with this blog all of college.  I haven't done that, clearly. Last night I made the decision to blog religiously on here. This blog is so precious to me.
Boy, was I broken. And my, how powerful God's miracles are. As I'm sitting here quietly, savoring every bite of my Thanksgiving ice cream, I'm reflecting on how I can grow stronger with this blog that is so near and dear to me. 
Last night I was at a movie night with Brad Incredible and our friends. That's when I rediscovered this blog. Something was pulling on my heart strings to try again. I read a lot of my old posts on here. It was a bit painful yet relieving on how much I revealed and wrote about  the darkest and happiest pieces of my teenage life. I am a different person now, singing songs of hope. I look into the mirror and see failures that have given me sense of self. Victories are the delicate rose petals on a stem, but the failures are the stems in my life that push me to keep myself together. I no longer cry myself to sleep. 
My heart aches for my teenage self. I wish I could tell her so many things that were not so important then and still aren't. Lately, people from my past have been hauting me, giving me signals that are conflicting my emotions.  What is this? Who are you? I am a woman who loves to move on. And move on quickly. Insecure? Heavens, no. It takes strength to let people go. I believe people are meant to stay for a season, and everything happens for a reason.
Life tells me that our lives are stories. Written with characters- you, your family, your friends, everything. These stories, our lives are written daily. Even the memories we cling onto can become our newest chapter. Life is the funniest thing on earth that can make us cry. 
Everything has changed. 
I am a woman who knows who she is, not dwelling on what I ought to be. I'm strong now,blog world. Let me recite the lyrics to my new song. 
I am worthy. I can do this. I am loved.