Easter Wishes

             

Wishing  all of my rose petals a Happy Easter. What a beautiful life God has granted us because Jesus died for a sins and rose from the dead! God can make the scariest things brand new and whole again. But, we have to let go. God gives us the choice to do so. 

April, my dear

I have the desire to travel the unknown. 

To stick my head above the clouds and wrap my sense of environment to an adventurous abyss. I was not created to sit in one place,...to drink the same cup of tea immensely. See the same things, the same crowd.

No. I have a heart of a nomad. I day dream of sinking my teeth into the freshest of fruits, soaking  my ears to the beat of a drum, and swim in a sea full of different people. I am feeling very happy today because I know there is something for me out there. Who knows what is it.

Is it wrapped in gold, the color blaring in my face so harshly that I can barely see it? What is my purpose?   At nigh,t I pray underneath the stars, my rosary neatly decorated in between fingers as I whisper my deepest thoughts to the Lord.Why do my ambitions keep changing? Because I am growing, molding my womanhood from how I experience every situation and cherish every laugh. My life is recorded by memories. Some pleasant, soft, harsh, dark, sweet... the list goes on. In May, I will finally have the freedom to experience what? A new career? A crown? Progress? The beauty of life is that we do not know what tomorrow brings. That is so beautiful to me that I am scared, so scared that I always forget this. April, my dear. You're here. I am dancing in a life where my peers are saying," I do," and where we are anxiously dreaming of the day to walk across the stage, have a stunning salary, and call ourselves by our successes and failures. Growing up is so odd to me. I am still peacefully(not always ha!) sleeping under my parents' house but I am not under the wing. See, I rely on them for quite a lot in my life because I am in no hurry to pack my bags. I am waiting. I am waiting for the day opportunity and hard work allows me to leave. At 22, I still have growing to do. There are many things that I am surrounded by that puzzle me. So, I wait. I learn. And listen well.

Growth

Crowned in His glory, I am saved. Protected. Cherished.

As I begin to transition into the next chapter of my adult life, I have developed a sixth sense on what God has been whispering in my ear. Lately, I've seen the painter behind the masterpieces I call friends. And boy, the colors have been striking. So striking that I now know who are my lifetime friends. People who I considered to be siblings have transformed or revealed from what he he been hiding for me. Time reveals all. 

Love Letters Part 3

I love you. 

Slowly, I watch you transform into the man God calls you to become. Like magic, I'm breathless as I see your smile and your soul work into my life. You have taught me things I  will never forget.

Cherished, buried, locked into my inner being. 

Thankyou. 

For teaching me what it means to be a family. Green with envy, I cringe and beam as I watch your family so intact, so perfect. You're lucky. 

And I know one day when you have your own, you will be king of the house, and I your queen. It is incredible how you treasure every being. You're special. Amazing you. 

Something has come over me. A tide of emotion envelopes me whole whenever you are hurt. I am crazy for you. 

It is beautiful to watch you work. Out in the field of your passion, my heart lights aflame for the joy that you have. It is my dream to have yours come true.

Sunrises.
I wake up next to you and I'm engulfed in your embrace. Your peacefulness is so contagious that I feel as one.  Like music, your voice brings me emotion. I can listening to you till the next sunrise. I am in love with the way you discipline yourself. You are a window of hope, I see stars in your eyes. 

Time. 

My soul goes back to day one, I'm looking into another version of myself.
You.

I've seen every side of you, and it's blurred vision because I still see your deepest soul. Sweet you. Funny you. Strong you. Mad you.  Even in your darkest hour, you still look handsome in the thunderstorm. We talk, we laugh, we smile. Lightening dashes across the sky and you kiss my hand. My soul is on fire full of you. 

Blessings. 

The smoothness of your voice is the sweet agave drizzled in my oatmeal. Your  patience swallows me in the warmest of love. I melt into your presence when I feel your eyes on me. I could stay with you forever.
Laughter. We bond over meals and television that seizes every moment and add another page to the diary.

I take care of you. Love makes me feel all of the right things. My heart triumphs to the rhythm of selflessness. After all, we are teammates. I wear your number on my back.
One.
 I am so in terribly, incredibly, and deeply in love with you. I'm intoxicated. I grip onto my stomach as I try to envision life without you. I grow ill.
No one in this life is perfect, but your perfect for me. Dance in this life with me, but don't go too fast. I'm frantic in losing you.
I simply cannot stand leaving you. Driving, rolling my window down and bidding goodbye. It's like leaving home with no security. Telephones can't feel emotion, desire, and longing. What have you done to me, man? I am cast under a spell.
 Distance is a challenge that can sting like a blunt of a sword, but it tastes sweet and breathless when we are close. You are worth more to me than you'll ever know. 

My warrior. 

Cupcakes

Today is my birthday and I am feeling 22(Thank you Taylor Swift. This is me in the photo, by the way).Naturally, I am in a fantastic mood. I am enjoying the sweet phone calls, texts, tweets, and Instagram comments. Birthdays are so precious to me. And today while I was daydreaming in my Telecommunications class, I had a revelation that rumbled my soul. 

What if we treated every day like a birthday? Feel blessed as soon as we woke  up and treated others with a thoughtful touch or comment as soon as we walked out the door? Well, that would be grand! We shouldn't wait till birthdays to feel a great sense of gratitude for the life that we have and the family and friends that encompass the most tender moments of our lives. We were never promised an easy life, but the liberty to understand that at this moment, this is where we ought to be. Growing, feeling, and learning about the life that lies ahead. 

Happy birthday to us. 

Radical

Today, I was feeling irritated and angry.

My mother is a micro manager and as usual, I was having difficulty keeping my snappiness to an appropriate level as well as  letting stress take over my lack of organizational skills. I was no happy camper today.

As I was driving home from the gym with aching abs and arms, I reflected on something deep, troubling, and moving. I pondering on how as Christians, we must display a lifestyle that will allow a nonbeliever to stop in their tracks and squeal, " Am I missing out?". Some of my peers call me a radical Catholic. Perhaps, by societal standards. But if accepting someone for who they are and firmly believing the Almighty God is forever merciful, no matter what we do, than I am darn right radical.

  The origin of Christianity comes from the purest form of  love.

Let's act like where we came from. 

I witness Christians embezzling, raping, abandoning, using others, murdering, and abusing God's greatest creation- people.  WHAT are we doing out here? The world is a beautiful tragedy, but in order to fulfill God's will, we have to look into ourselves in the mirror and question  whether or not we are truly soaking up the Gospel or are we soaking up own earthly(and temporary) standards. Perfection is unattainable, but you do not have to be perfect to know how to accept and treat others with the Golden Rule. I am exhausted from the disgusting hate, revenge, and hurtfulness that I read and witness from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am famished to see us work harder for kindness and truly understand where we come from. God is so good. We can make this change because frankly, there is no other choice that will save your soul. As you lay down to sleep at night, pray that Christians around the world accept others and truly display The crown of Christianity.

Flawful

They say wisdom comes with age...
I say age comes  with confidence. My heart aches for my highschool soul. It was damaged, wilted, broken, and scarred. Wrecked with emotion, bad guys, and low self-esteem, I allowed myself to swim in the gutter. Now at 21, I take my flaws one by one, not by the pinch of my finger, but as a handful. I bare no shame that yes, my heart is painfully sensitive, my demeanor can turn sour, and that room is persistently decorated in a large, beautiful mess.
Flawful.
I dream big because I want it all, but give me a map and  I'm  dashed away in circles. Whirlpools.. drowning. I have to plan slow, need to plan smart. After all, God has the final say so.
Flawful
 I am hasty to trust, but I close the door behind me when I feel betrayed, Grudges are not in my cup of tea, however no one ever wants to reminisce on the bitter aftertaste. Yes, people deserve second chances, yet some healed scars  can never vanish. I block, I ignore, I move on... quickly.
Flawful.
Leave it me to obsess over the latest workouts, hair, and makeup. Looking my best is apart of my self-test but I lose control.
Despite all of my blemishes, makeup will never cover up who I am as a woman. I am royalty in the eyes of Jesus. He sees something in me that no one else can. Don't mind me. My flaws are apart of the personal testimony.
"I woke up like this."-Beyonce

Whirlpool

New year fetches new company- good and bad. As I am strolling along this month, gearing into school mode,  I watch my surroundings. Peering within them and soaking up every ounce of it. 

I have observed a lot of sorrow this month. From long term relationships, to deaths, bonds are breaking. I am not discouraged. I believe God's voice is translated into stories that make up our personal lives. Everything truly does happen for a reason, and it happens in a certain season. Life is a beautiful gift. This is the year when I graduate from college. As I prepare myself spiritually and emotionally for this new journey, I know what God has in store for me is good. I am not afraid of challenges. Strive to grow from difficult times. That's when we know how strong we are. Life can be a whirlpool but when we hang onto our faith and our loved ones, we cannot drown. Adorn yourself with positive vibes.  We hear, "Life is far too short," on the daily, but do we really drink up this words and let them travel to our soul? What good does it do for us to wallow in what we do not have instead of what we can achieve for? The only contest I signed up for is to become the best version of "Me." And I'm the only contestant. I am filled with joy knowing with patience and support, my life is mine. How freeing it is to not give the slightest inkling of what others think! 

Love Letters Part 2

When you fall in love, heartbeats become telepathy and conversations recites diaries. 

I watch you. The way you speak to me vibrates in my soul, like violin strings-vibrato. Pulsating affection only the soul can yearn for. Trampled in a daze we were sitting in a restaurant with dimmed lights and hushed happiness. I felt your eyes on me, but I could hear the sparkle in your smile when you whispered, "I love you." The emotions that you declared to me set my heart on fire. So delicate that only God will know. You are perfect to me. Everything about you is authored by the Heavenly Father. Your kindness, your hilarity, your mind are my daily doses of inspiration and clarity. I am mesmerized into a fantasy of you. 

4 years ago.

I dialed your number and knew you were mine, and I was yours. Strong, handsome, sweet you. On New Years Day, we sat across from each other. Instantaneously I praised, I see Jesus in your eyes. And you caught me by surprise, smiling through my tears. At times, I cannot stand it when you reprimand me. Still, I cling onto your every word. In the heat of the moment, sass can reek from my tongue, but I silently honor your name.

You.

Mighty you. Funny you. Your dreams are pieces of my very own. Two become one, pieces to puzzle.The way your face glows when you crack a joke, head bobbing to the music that blares in your car, I watch as you move and I see something in you. I have witnessed every emotion that has escaped from your soul.  Every triumph and very struggle, I'm in this. With you.

Your body. My eyes draw to the strength of your back. Engraved with muscles and full of strength. Your lips, your lips, your laugh... better than the sweetest ice cream sundae, I melt into you. I am not ashamed to say that I need you, because I do. I belong to you. Time has withered into breathless intimacy, something that has literally transformed every inkling of our being. I am in love with the way you sleep. The peace that emulates from your soul is contagious.  Every second you are on my mind. You drive me crazy immensely, but I am in love with how you delved into my life like a miracle. I treasure the goodness that is sewed into your heart. It is a garden- so beautiful that nothing dark, tainted, or sorrowful could  ever obliterate it. You bare the cape of superman and I am blinded in awe by the man that you are.

Cleanse

                          

My Soul Cleansers for 2015

1. Strengthen my relationship with God. Sleepy prayers are not good enough. There are days when I feel so far. But who moved? Me. I need sit down at His feet, pour my heart over His word and allow it to wreck my soul. I need a wakeup call.

2. Publish my first book. A dream that will finally transform entire world

3. Obtain the abdominal I desire. By tweaking my diet a bit further and continuing my hard work in the gym, I know I will accomplish this goal. Our bodies are temples from God. I want to achieve my highest form of health.

4.Stop fearing the "What are your post graduation plans?" and reply with confidence that the unknown is bound to happen.

5.Detox from negative thoughts daily. Write them down and toss them into the trash can.

6. Win my dream title. Details to come.

7. Never neglect this blog.

Happy 2015.