Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I'm so sick of trying to make everyone happy.
I'm bouncing back and forth with my cheerleading commitment.
I'm stressed with school.
I want Grandma back. So very badly.
I can't get my license next month.(More teasing from Brody... whoopie. Ha.)
And my Halloween plans are compeletely ruined.
I have just realized that overall, my luck this year has just been so terrible. School, friends, boys, cheer, man... c'mon!!
This weekend looks promising though. I may see Brody and I'm cheering at the Georgia Dome. I'm also making this really pretty rosary with yellow string. It's quite difficult.
I need a vacation to visit my best friend, Sophia Niccum.
I need some" pain medicine" as well.
What a stupid post.
Sorry. I just needed to write.
I'm going to go pray now.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Your Pain Medicine

Heartache is one of the most painful things, a human can ever feel. It is a wonder how the human heart was made like this:impatient, fragile, and easy to be tossed around. Tonight, I pray for the hurt and the brokenhearted.
Let Jesus be your pain medicine.
I feel hurt all the time. I feel hurt from my stupid mistakes-those harsh words that may slip to my silly actions. Oh yes, I honestly do. I cannot tell you how many nights I have been startled by my sleep in the middle of night, by these things. I just can't seem to accept my imperfections. But anyway, this post isn't about me.
This post is for you.
And you.
And you.
And you... yeah... you.
Gosh, I just CANNOT remember the Bible verse that goes along with this post! The verse fits so perfectly, like an engagment ring slipping on a maiden's finger. It fits... so right. Let me just give you your pain medicine, my readers.
If I can bake you a cupcake with sparkles and icing to brighten up your day... I would. Hurt and pain should be temporary. But it is so easy, for bad feelings to rob us. The world could be lovely, you know. You just have to walk with Jesus and love till your hearts break. Love till your hearts break?
Yes. Love traps us. Friendship love, relationship love, mother/daughter love... just plain love.
We get sucked in because it's simply just so easy. And when we are hurt, we feel the needles stabbing us, one by one.
When your heart breaks, keep on lovin'. Because, love will only make you stronger, and the hurt will make your eyes wide open. But... but can't hurt block us, block us from loving? Aren't people just so sick of getting hurt? Your heart is begging you, readers. "Don't give up. Don't give up on me. Just let me heal and grow and then you can start all over again."
Let your smile be your pain medicine. Let your laughter be your joy and let the sun guide you. Don't push away the things that make you happy.
Life ends so quickly. My grandma died a week ago from breast cancer.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Series of Unfortunate Events

Let's put my series of unfortunate events on fast foward, shall we?
Homecoming night was so awful. Talk about a night full of disappointments.I was on the verge of tears. Evan's car broke down, so she was unable to attend pictures, dinner, and the dance. I ended up being the only girl in the Homecoming group without a date. Dinner was terrible. I looked pathetic sitting alone in the faint dinner light, texting under the table. The dance was no better, because a lot of my friends had dates so I was constantly being ditched and forgotten. I left the dance an hour early.I can honestly say that I was very upset with Brody not being with me. I didn't even want to talk to him that night. What was his reason for not being there?
His mother.
And since when as a mother stopped a teenage boy from being with the girl he likes? Oh and it's quite funny how the next day, I find out that Brody and his friends was at my school earlier that day, for a football game. ( Pictures. Facebook stalking always has its benefits) Did he tell me that? Why no, of course not. To test him, I asked the boy what he did that saturday of my Homecoming, and he told me everything but the game.
I got really upset the next day when I told my friends what had happened. They all think that Brody lied to me and that I should dump him. "He never makes the effort to do anything, Rose! Mel hissed. "You need to talk to him." I did, and everything is cleared up. I got over the whole situation the next day. I don't hold grudges. He didn't lie? Well, I confronted him last weekend about it after we went out for lunch and he said he doesn't remember. Chyeah...whatever.
What else?
Oh yes... the first football coach at my school died last Sunday. George B. Maloof. Man. What an incredible guy. He was a Georgia legend that's for sure. Grandma died Thursday morning and Caroline and I consoled each other and cried. We just lost Grandpa five months ago. My mother woke up in the middle of night and was wailing. Grandma was my mom's closet aunt. We all loved Grandma very much. She was in a lot of pain. She's holding hands with Jesus now. But gosh, there are alot of times where I just hate my life.
The positives?
Cheerleading and grades are getting better. I have fours a's, a b and a c. I still have time to get all a's. I have a photoshoot coming up very, very soon too. I'm not sure when, but I am excited. Last night, I went out with Zach Knight and we talked for three hours at Starbucks. It was very nice, actually. We have a really deep connection and it scares me to the point where I might have to stay away from him. I know he has feelings for me because he told me so and well, I'm seeing Brody. As much as I don't want, I have to keep my distance. What can happen between me and Zach can happen real fast. We honestly do open up to each other... even more than I do with Brody. Zach said that he was thankful to have me here and that he likes who I am. He even brought up the day we met and he remembers everything about what we had in the past. Ha.
This is totally forbidden.
Stephanie Callahan, my "big sister" wants me to go for Zach Knight. I can't and I won't allow it. Zac knows I'm dating Brody. Although, Brody and I are not exclusive, we're technically not single?? I've been with Brody for five months now. I don't want to give up it up, especially now when we are improving. Caroline has found her guy and he treats her like a princess. I am very happy for my sister. :) Hayden is his name, and he is incredibly adorable.

I am very bored today. I think I'm going to take my mom's car and go out for a spin. Maybe I could surprise my friend Renee with a visit. :) I get my license next month. Holla.