Who are you again, Rose Valentine?

Six years ago when I started this blog, I discovered bits and pieces of myself that I was hiding from the woman who was blinking right back at me in the mirror. Six years ago, I was afraid of my own intense emotions. I was afraid of what people could do to me.
Now, as a new woman I want to talk about how this blog has helped me grow, presently. I think it is very important for all of us to recognize who we are when we wake up in the morning, and not at the end of the day based on how people  interacted with us. How sweet is it to lay down to sleep, realizing that your own flaws were not used as weapons, just because someone viewed you as distasteful? Knowledge is  empowering. When we walk into a room, head held up high, and with ears ready to listen, we become better people. Cliche indeed, but the way we think truly affects how we treat other people. I like to know how people think and feel because it helps me become more aware of how life works. It's not all about us as individuals. God created us in communities for a reason.
 I am extremely open as you can see. Even books get envious. I'm kidding, but I believe my desire to connect with people contributes as to why I am not afraid to be vulnerable.
Me.
I am a woman who isn't afraid to feel, but a 21 year old college student who doesn't understand her own future. I am a human being who is emotional, but views it as a strength because I know how to love shamelessly. I am an adult who loves adventure, but aware of the fact that my faith is a necessary shield.
I look forward into growing more and more each time I post on here. This is my cure, another desire fulfilled to connect.

Everything

Writing is everything to me. Time and time again, I told myself that I would keep up with this blog all of college.  I haven't done that, clearly. Last night I made the decision to blog religiously on here. This blog is so precious to me.

Boy, was I broken. And my, how powerful God's miracles are. As I'm sitting here quietly, savoring every bite of my Thanksgiving ice cream, I'm reflecting on how I can grow stronger with this blog that is so near and dear to me. 

Last night I was at a movie night with Brad Incredible and our friends. That's when I rediscovered this blog. Something was pulling on my heart strings to try again. I read a lot of my old posts on here. It was a bit painful yet relieving on how much I revealed and wrote about  the darkest and happiest pieces of my teenage life. I am a different person now, singing songs of hope. I look into the mirror and see failures that have given me sense of self. Victories are the delicate rose petals on a stem, but the failures are the stems in my life that push me to keep myself together. I no longer cry myself to sleep. 

My heart aches for my teenage self. I wish I could tell her so many things that were not so important then and still aren't. Lately, people from my past have been hauting me, giving me signals that are conflicting my emotions.  What is this? Who are you? I am a woman who loves to move on. And move on quickly. Insecure? Heavens, no. It takes strength to let people go. I believe people are meant to stay for a season, and everything happens for a reason.

Life tells me that our lives are stories. Written with characters- you, your family, your friends, everything. These stories, our lives are written daily. Even the memories we cling onto can become our newest chapter. Life is the funniest thing on earth that can make us cry. 

Everything has changed. 

I am a woman who knows who she is, not dwelling on what I ought to be. I'm strong now,blog world. Let me recite the lyrics to my new song. 

I am worthy. I can do this. I am loved.

I'm Back

Hi everyone.
So it's been a year since I have posted on here. I recently created a new blog. Took me a while, right? Well, I'm back!:)

Visit me here-http://crownedinhisglory.blogspot.com/

Starting all over

I think it's time for to make a new blog.

Clean, fresh, new stories....

I've become a different Rose. But not too different.

I want to express myself differently.

This blog has many pleasant memories, and I want to thank you all for sticking with me. I will post my new link tomorrow.

xoxo

How Highschool Changed My Life

Freshmen Year:

August 2007, I was the happiest girl on the planet.

Why?

Because I got accepted into the best highschool in the world, and all my hardwork in middle school had paid off. I was so ready for the next four years of my life. I remember putting on that uniform skirt, buttoning my polo, and tying those silly Saddle shoes. Gosh, so many memories.

Remember my first day so well. The weather was gorgeous, my hair was curled, and I could hardly eat breakfast. That day I couldn't find my friends so I ate lunch with a bunch of grumpy Sophomores. That day was one of the highlights of my freshmen year.

Why?

I already found my new bestfriends- Mel, Maggie, Alexis, and Evan. I met Mel, Alexis, and Evan, at a summer camp and Maggie on the first day of school. Highschool is about finding your bridesmaids, right?

Already got 'em.

Freshmen year was a party. And I loved being in a Catholic private school as well. I made so many new friends and was really trying to find a new place and a new identity. I ditched glasses for contacts, converse for ballet shoes, and I was slowly but surely coming out my shell.

And of course finding you, the blogworld.

Soundtrack of Freshmen Year:(Can't remember much)

1.Crank Dat Soulja Boy

2. Flyleaf Album: All Around Me

3. Seven Days Without You- Teddy Geiger

4. Stronger by Kanye West

5.Love Song- Sara Barielles

Sophomore Year

This is the first year that I officially met Lady Mascara and Madam Foundation. Makeup was rapidly becoming my dependence. I felt girly, thus I felt happy. I also had this strange obession with hair bows because I wanted to become a cheerleader so very badly. I was viciously teased by one "friend'', but I didn't care. I didn't wear bows to please anyone but myself. I eventually did get into cheer and tumble outside of school and I enjoyed it. Although, my mother is fully convinced that because of tumbling I lost most of my boobs. Having Obama elected was pretty awesome as well. I come from a Democratic family in general and it's pretty cool that Obama is the first black president! But most importantly I've discovered something far more incredible, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, amazing...

God's love.

I would go to holy Mass on Sundays and just simply go through the motions- pray, sit, kneel, stand, "Peace be with you", etc. My heart was not really into the Mass as much as it should of have been. I needed a push, a shove, something that would shake me until tears would spill out my eyes. And I got that. Right on my Confirmation retreat in September 2008. I have described my amazing experience consistently on here. Camp Covecrest, the place where life is just so beatuiful and full of God's love... where all you do is praise and worship with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

That's exactly how life is supposed to be.

I came back home with the most incredible spiritual high, immense joy, and everlasting mirth. That's how I am most of the time. Because of Covecrest, I am a much sweeter person. I am more patient, and make God the absolute center. My sophomore year diary only consists of letters to God. I love that diary dearly.

This year was also the year I met my first love, my first kiss, my first date- Chris Angel(no not the Magician guy). I've talked about him alot on here also. Although our relationship has been in the past, I will always have a place in my heart for him. No matter how much it hurt at the end.You can never get rid of your first love. It's impossible, really.

Soundtrack of Sophmore Year:

1. "God of This City"-Chris Tomlin

2. "I wanna be"- Chris Brown

3."Love Story-Mariah Carey

4."Angel"- Jack Johnson

5."Banana Pancakes"-Jack Johnson

6."Forever"-Chris Brown

7."Forever"-Edison Glass

8."Such a State-Edison Glass

9."I Wonder"- Kanye West

10."Big Brother-Kanye West

11."Just Dance"- Lady Gaga

12. "Closing Down the Pattern Deparment- Daphne Loves Derby

13. Simple, yet starving to be safe- Daphne loves Derby

14."Best I ever had- Drake

15. Boom Boom Pow-Black Eyed Peas

16. Starstruckk-30h!3

17. "Yes We Can"- Naked Brothers Band

18."You Belong With Me"- Taylor Swift

19." Day N' Nite"- Kide Cudi

Junior Year

Worst year.

End of story.

Stress, stress, stress, stress and more stress. Besides officially exploring the world of modeling,I made the cheerleading squad and ended up being miserable. Chemistry class was my nightmare, and my family suddendly went down to shambles. My parents need a divorce, honestly. Too many things happened. I'm so thankful to have really great friends around and religion teachers around. I'm so glad I have my faith to hang on to. Those family hardships taught me many valuable lessons and it will affect me for the rest of my life. Since those experiences are so personal, I rather not elaborate on here solely because this is the internet.

My first prom was great. My date, Ralph suddenly became my boyfriend (now ex) and then that following summer Ralph turned out to be gay, I finally obtained a driver's license, and went to my first official highschool house party and hated it.

Soundtrack of Junior Year:

1. "Meet me halfway"- Black Eyed Peas

2. Drake's Album: Thank Me Later

3. Janita songs

4. "Paint Me Over"- Amerie

5."Love is Here"- Tenth Avenue North

6."Say Something"-Drake

7."Stillness Is the Move"-Dirty Projectors

8."I'm Ready"-Alicia Keys

9."Summer Nights"-Rascal Flats

10."Worry About You"- 2am Club

11."Clarity"-John Mayer

12."Party In Your Bedroom"

Senior year and Now

FANTASTIC. And it went by so fast! The college application process was stressful and things got real and emotional at the end of the year. Leaders of the school,us seniors turned heads with our designed senior sweaters, t- shirts, pranks, and confidence. It was so much fun.( Graduation was absolutely beautiful.) And I met the most incredible guy on this earth who I am currently in love with. Literally, for the first time I have truly fallen in love and it's the glorious feeling. He is my bestfriend. I've been through some heavy family stuff and he's been on my side all along. He didn't bail, he stayed. His name is Brad, Brad Incredible. I also had a life altering experience- finding out that I have an older brother living in South Carolina. I was so shocked, hurt, surprised, and happy that I have an older brother because I've always wanted one, but the fact that he was literally kept away from my sisters and I is hurtful and mindblowing. My sisters and my brother do not have a clear reason why he was kept away. We have yet to find out the reason. I cannot believe my sisters and I went through are whole lives not knowing that there's another memeber out there wanting to see us and meet us and love us so very badly. I just pray that I will have a much better home life when I create my own family.

I got my first job (model position at Hollister & Co and finally my first car!(A 2000 black Lexus suv!) And phone calls from different agencies.

I am in love with my highschool. It's seriously the best school I have ever been to, and I am completely blessed. I have met some of the most amazing people inside and out of my school. And most importantly, my highschool experience changed me.

Actually, for the better.

I am stronger, wiser, and more confident then I was when I first walked through those golden gates.

Soundtrack(TOP 18. THERE ARE TOO MANY SONGS)

1. "Good Evening"- Mac Miller

2. "Boys of Fall"- Kenny Chesney

3. "Dirt Road Anthem"- Jason Aldean

4. "Rocketeer"-Far East Movement

5."Still Got It"-Drake

6."You Give Me Something"-James Morrison

7. "Only Exception"-Paramore

8. "Party Rock Anthem"-LMFAO

9."All Black Everything"-Lupe Fiasco

10." O Children"-Nick Cave

11. "Moment For Life"Nicki Minaji

12."I Wish"-Skee Lo

13."Only You Can Love Me This Way"-Keith Urban

14."If I Die Young"- Lady Antebellum

15."Hold It Down"-J. Cole

16."You Are"-Charlie Wilson

17."All My Life"-KC& Kojo

18. Gosh... can't choose haha.

I'm so ready for my brand new story.

Thankyou, Highschool.

Thankyou for showing me things that I needed to see, realizing that things in this world require hardwork and people aren't always nice. Thankyou for throwing me obstacles, for the tears I shed over academics, the stupid boy troubles, and cutting out the people out of my life that were not meant to be. Thankyou for the wonderful dances, the football games, the sleepovers...

Thankyou for everything.

Thankyou for the memories.

A brand new story

So summer has come and gone.

I'll be attending college in three weeks. It's amazing. I've had this blog for all of highschool, and I still have it for college. Sure, I haven't updated in months, days, and that's because I've had many things going on and of course, enduring the most intense writer's block I have ever had. I also believe that the blog world is slowly dwindling down.

I don't like that.

I now have a new goal- never stop blogging. I now have a brand new story.

As of right now, I am launching my modeling career one day at a time. It isn't easy, and boy it's an investment, but it's totally worth it. I have a really big shoot coming up very soon. Besides that, I've declared myself officially and ludicrously in love. It'll be seven months next week. I couldn't be happier.

And now marks the beginning of my brand new story.

I'm still here...

I just need a little inspiration.

A push, or better yet a shove.

A real hard one.