Monday, April 13, 2009

Numb


Happy Belated Easter girls. :) Christ will come again. You'll see.
I'm okay now.
I am not mad at God anymore. I apologized to Him.
He doesn't deserve the blame.


It was my impatience... me hurting myself.
I'm still trying to wait and search for my fairytale moment. I don't know how to put myself out there. I've been told to do this an ample amount of times. And yet, I have no solution. Maybe I'm too engrossed with my school work and cheerleading. I can't say that I don't care because ,I do care. I'm just feeling numb about finding love. A weak/strong part of me just shrugs and says, "Whatever." I know one of my friends Ty, is doing a bit of searching for me."We need to hook you up with someone, Rose." she said to me a while ago. Sasha nodded. "Yeah, so you can totally forget about Chris Angel." I gave my girls a tiny smile in response. I offered Ty a list of the characteristics I find appealing.


The only physical things that attract me are beautiful eyes, a beautiful smile,and hands. (Hands? Yeah, I don't know why...) I just want a pure, religious, and romantic guy. Someone who is extremely funny and who I can talk to for hours.I've got a thing for athletes too. Sometimes I imagine my Troy having an amazing heart-throbbing singing voice. Ahh... I'm too unrealistic. I don't expect one guy to have every quality I find attractive. Athleticism is what I like more in a guy than artsy. And I certainly don't care about the race. Ty knows a lot of guys who attend to all different kinds schools in Atlanta. But for some reason, I doubt she's going to find my Troy, or A Troy. However, about a week ago Ty randomly told me that she was working on it. I trust her. She's a sincere person. :)


Text Messages:
James- " I see exactly what you mean! But do you think your friends with the boyfriends get married to those guys?They go through heartbreak at the end. And plus you an amazingly beautiful girl, and your single! Take those two components and use them! You can't go around lookin for love, you'll never find it. As time passes it will come to you. So just get out and endure. Many guys would kill at the chance to take you out. Believe me, I know."


Winston( my "big brother" :) - "It'll be alright, Rose. It's weird cause when I was at church today, the Bishop was talking about love. Not exactly the same love as you blogged about but still love. He was saying that God loves Jesus because Jesus loves us, and as long as we keep loving others. As long as you keep a smile on, keep loving, and wait you will be blessed. Your a very unique person Rose, there aren't many girls like you today and that means there will be a very unique man for you. Whether God puts him in your life, tomorrow, next week, or 4 months, is up to Him. He will come and when you see him you will know. Sorry for the long text, I just thought you should know that.
Goodnight!"
















1 comment:

Nicole Linette said...

Hey Rose! So sorry I haven't been keeping up with your blog.. I was grounded and banned from the computer for quite some time X(. Happy late Easter to you as well!

Hmm, I feel the same way about finding a guy. All my friends seem to be connecting with a boy, and I still can't "find" someone ... and maybe that's the problem. I'm trying to let it not bother me, just let it happen. Winston basically summed it up, so kudos to him.

peace&love,
nicole.