Honestly, this nonsense is distracting me from everything else. And as usual, I overreact. When problems and tricky situations arise, I naturally freak out. I don't know how to relax, in general.
Rose, quit freaking out. Ha. I'm always reprimanded. One of my many flaws.
I fear of hurting someone.
I just want, crave, dream, and hope for one thing... a relationship. A guy whose's crazy about me, simply crazy. Admire. Love. Cherish. Respect.
Rose, you're 16.
So?
Just forget it. You've got plenty of time.
Yeah well, that doesn't defy my desire to be wanted. I want someone to actually want me.
Is that wrong?
Can I like, stop caring now? Why can't I stop caring? Indepedence is great. I've been on my own for eight and half months now. No, let's search deeper than that- I have never been in a real relationship. You know, when the other person actually cares for me? Yeah, that's right. Rose Valentine is better off on her own. Don't you agree? Time to focus on my dreams, my education, and most importantly keeping the green light on God. Love can wait. && you know what? Love is going to be waiting for a long time.
Ever had that sick feeling, that agonizing feeling that your heart's warning you about something?
Redlight. Redlight. Redlight.
I think someone's trying to use me. Oh, naive me. I usually don't trust my instincts. My exscuse,"Oh me? I'm just overacting."
Tears and tissues.
I hope I'm wrong.
Yellow light.
Slow down, Rose. Wait a mintue. Just think.
"Nah, I'm going. Sorry, but I think you're wrong."
Rose, it's a freaken redlight. Stop already.
"Can you just trust me? I know what I'm doing."
You can't let crap happen to you like this, Rose.
"Who says that I do? I told you enough times already. I know what I'm doing.
Fine. I hope you brought some bandages for your heart.
Monday, July 27, 2009
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2 comments:
Thiss is extremly tough :( I'm sorry, relationships and even just thinking about them can be absolutly ridiculous :P But you know what, there is nothing wrong about taking a step back from the picture, taking a deep breath, and just thinking about the whole thing before you jump back in :)
Thank you so much for your comment on my last post, and I appriciate your prayers :)
i, myself, prefer being solo, it gives me time to think about things that i want, personal goals. when im dating someone, i turn into a completely different person, i dont care about my friends and my grades or anything. i really think thats distructive to my goals in life. But once in awhile i wish i could just call someone and sit on the phone for hours and not run out of things to talk about.. but i wouldnt worry about any of that love business, it'll happen when you'll least expect it. :) and im sure you have a bucketload of people who adore you.
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