Noone Cares

What a terrible week.
I must say, alot of my friends have gone through alot of crap lately. Lexi's boyfriend cheated on her countless times and our so-called friend Dennis made up some big "famous" story about some things and lied to not only Evan's(because she was involved) face but to everyone else's. I mean, really. Boys keep stepping all over us. I don't know us girls are paying attention to them anyway. It's like they don't care how we feel- we'll at least some of the boys I know don't. They keep hurting us. And please don't tell me, "Well they're fifteen years old and blah blah. No. Age has nothing to do with respect. As teenagers, we should know how to act and treat people right. Honestly I think I should just calm down and move on. Yes, the hurt and shame still lies beneath my heart. I can't seem to get rid of it and I can't stop thinking about what happened. I still want those text messages and those phone calls. Maybe it's the attention I miss. Or maybe, just maybe I still feel the same why I did. It's time to move on- it's been time but, I just can't. It takes time. A part of me still has those foolish feelings for him. I don't know why I'm taking this so hard. I got rid of the stuff he gave me. Before I left for school I took the corsage and his bracelet that he gave me, went outside and tossed it into the woods."You just have to get over it." Evan had told me earlier at lunch today. "There's nothing you can do." True. So very true. What's done is done.

Chris wants to be my friend. According to Melanie, he really really wants to be my friend."If he does, then why hasn't he called you?" Evan snarled.I remember him telling me that he didn't want to lose me. "Why did he cheat then?" Evan also snapped. I should say no to Chris, but I want to say, "Yeah sure. Whatever." The trust bond however, is not there. What's wrong with me?! Melanie asked what my viewpoint on all this was. I just shrugged. Then she said that Chris told her that our friendship was going well. Um what? I rolled my eyes and shook my head when I heard this. What friendship?
Gosh, get over this Rose.
I am sadly still attached to Chris Angel I guess. :/ He was really something else you know? Also according to Melanie, (Melanie is his bestfriend-our bestfriend by the way) Chris hasn't moved on. Okay... what's up with the relationship status then? All of my friends are very upset. Actually the right word to use is pissed. Some of them want to add him on facebook and tell him off. I told them no. I don't want to talk trash about him and start all sorts of drama on facebook.(My sister has started quite a bit of that already. As people know, my sister can be really sweet but can get verbally aggressive if you mess with her or her friends. She's a very tough girl. People know not to mess with her)

I don't talk bad about him when people ask what happened. Why should I? Listen, he's not a bad person. Yes, what he did was terrible but that decision that he made doesn't automatically give him the "bad guy" label. I know he's good. Maybe that's why I'm still attached. But for some reason, I find it very difficult to pray for him. When I say, "Lord please bless Chris Angel, etc..." my heart doesn't flutter anymore. I still pray for him though. Everyday.I have to confess, I was very angry when I found out he moved on two days after our break-up. For some reason though, I feel terrible-like I've done something wrong. Maybe I told too many of my friends about what happened. My sister has just about told the whole world(well the freshmen girls at least.) I hate the fact people asked me about my break-up at school. Facebook is terribly nosy. I'm so pathetic. I should stop thinking, talking, and writing about this anyway. I'm feeling way much better though. And, I know one thing's for sure- Jesus is the only man who will never break my heart. God will heal me. But anyway... tomorrow is Friday! :) Football game!!! And, Savannah invited me to go to Netherworld on Saturday with a bunch of people and afterwards, the girls would sleep over at her house. I took the invite gladly. Netherworld is SUPER scary. Major. I am deathly afraid of that haunted house. I went there last year and I almost DIED. I still want to go though. I need to escape for awhile.