I haven't forgotten you

Oh my.
It's been quite some time, hasn't it?I love this blog with all my heart-honestly, I do. Time is a factor. Schoolwork has piled up, cheer is really starting to drag down my schedule, and well, life continues to move on and bring me problems. My readers, I am going to try to update every week at least once. I feel so strangely disconnected from you all, and it's seriously bothering me right now. I need to make an effort.
Things have changed.

No more Hunter. My dad forbids me to see him because of his mohawk. You don't know how terribly upset I was before. Hunter wants to see me again and really, I'm just really tired of reciting the whole story. It's alright, now. Yes, my dad is way out of line here, but there isn't anything I can do. There are many, many, ways that Hunter and I could sneak around but it's just not worth it. Maybe one day when my dad finally realizes that hair is "just hair" we could see each other again. As of right now, I've moved on from the angry feelings and lost my quickly acquited feelings for Hunter. We talk and text quite a bit. And surprisingly, the more I talk to him, the more I realize that Hunter really isn't for me. Why?
He's not Troy. I can't be his girl.

Oh woes me, the Queen of Flings. That's what Evan and I call ourselves. We would like to be in a relationship- not a serious one-just real teenage love. Valentine's Day is going to be horrible just like any other year. I've never had a real Valentine.
"Have you talked to your daddy yet? I really want to see you again."

Things in the family are just absolutely disgusting. There's a flaming family feud going on between my father and my unlce and aunt. It saddens me, really. I can see the anger and hate blazing in my father's eyes whenever he speaks of the verbal fights. My mom is sick of my dad's outrageous temper.

I'm losing my confidence in school and cheerleading. My grades are just fine as of right now, but I want to do better. I'm always sleep deprived. Cheerleading is biting me in the butt and I want the season to end at this moment. The games were a lot of fun this weekend, considering the fact there were two very special people in the stands watching me cheer. My coaches and some of the other girls on the squad are always getting onto me about something. I am such a terrible cheerleader. I probably won't letter this year and my college cheer dreams are wearing out. I think modeling would be something I'm looking into pursuing as a parttime career. I have my first audition/interview on Tuesday! I received a wonderful call yesterday after school. :) I am very happy.

My friend Alyssa is pregnant. She's doing very well and I'm praying for her. She's very excited for her baby boy and I'm going to be there for her. Keep Alyssa in your prayers as well. Pregnancy is a wonderful gift, but since she is so young, things are going to get pretty hectic. I'm worried. I can't imagine myself carrying another beating heart inside of me. At this moment, that frigthens me to death.

I've made a wonderful, wonderful, new friend over the MLK weekend. His name is Micah, but in my heart I call him 'Troy in the making.'

That's how lovely he is inside. He has this heart-firing love for Jesus that it makes me melt. I'll tell you everything about him later on.

I've always seen Micah around at school. He looks like my first love, Chris Angel. (I'm sure many of my old readers remember him.)I've always thought he had an adordable face. There is a Sadie Hawkins dance coming up in a few weeks for basketball Homecoming. Mel thinks that I should ask Micah to the dance, but I'm not too sure if I want to attend.

My 17th birthday is next friday- The fifith of Febuary. It's Friday night, and I'm going to be out with my girls. Micah wanted my locker combination, because he has planned a surprise for me. He also has a song for me on the piano and he's recording it. I get to see it live on my birthday in the school band room. :)

Prom is in April and I've done some small planning. I'm going to start dressing shopping next month. I have a layout of everything I need. One problem is finding a fellow or getting asked by a fellow. I have an ample amount of time. I also have my prom photoshoot planned out as well. I thinking of sigining up for a prom model search.

Expect another update early Friday morning.