Friday, September 25, 2009

Gosh, give me a break


Homecoming Football game tonight.
Why am I not there?
In my highschool career,I have never had a friday night without football is in season... yill now.
This week was just full of disappointments, stress, and drama. My girls and I are not behaving our best with each other. We have suddenly broken off into pairs and rarely share secrets with each other. Out of Mel, Evan, and Savanna, I am closest to Evan. Evan and I have always been so incredibly close. Besides my sister, Evan gets the full story of my life. To make this story short and to the point, us girls are not getting along as well as we use to. There's been Homecoming drama and all kinds of nonsense. Evan and I are just sick of it. Besides that, several things have just been awful and I always feel like I need to pitch a fit. My grades are slowly taking over my life and is affecting my relationship with Christ. I had a nice talk with Brody last night about time. My time.He basically said that I'm always really busy and that hinders us from spending time with each other. This actually did hit me when he told me this and I was beginning to see the truth. I told Brody that I need to make more time for him and he agreed. He was being very calm and mature about it and I really did appreciate that. Me and Brody's dating relationship is very relaxed and free. There's absolutely no pressure. Brody expresses his affections not so much with words, but with his actions. Sure, we act like bestfriends/ brother and sister, but whenever he grabs my hand or kisses me angelically on the forehead, I know his feelings are there. Our first kiss still brings fire to my soul. It was perfect.
My darlings, belive what I am telling you. Yes, it has been two days since I have written to you all last,and things have changed... already? I desperately need a break from people.I'm home tonight because I have two papers to work on, I am exhausted, I have to prepare for my sister's Confirmation at EIGHT FORTY-FIVE AM ,and quite frankly,I just don't care about Homecoming anymore. I don't even want to attend the dance. I am so incredibly disappointed that Brody's mother wouldn't allow him to go with me. I just couldn't help but be slightly angry and just thoroughly upset.Brody felt horrible and I performed well by hiding mydisappointment, until our friend Alexandra confronted him last night. I wish she didn't do that, but its quite alright. She told me that Brody was really sad that he couldn't go to Homecoming with me and hoped that I wasn't truly mad at him. I was never mad-just really really disappointed. He had texted me after talking to Alexandra and I could tell he was still feeling bad. Oh well. It's such a shame!!! But, Brody's homecoming is in two weeks and I hope he asks me. I think that is the reason why I'm not looking forward to Homecoming. Evan and I are the only girls in the group without dates. That's not a problem anymore, because there are like, five guys who are solo as well. I'm just jealous of Savanna and Mel because they expressed their excitement at lunch while Evan and I were like, "Yeah... whatever. Let's get this dance over with." On a lighter note, I am finally having some chill time and I'm going to get my nails done. No regrets tonight. :)

2 comments:

Lauren said...

Maybe it's a good thing that you and Brody aren't spending a whole lot of time with each other. I am not saying that you will, but you don't want to go too far.

rachel said...

i LOVE your blog.
:)