Current Events

Wednesday Night: Beyond Confusion
It was midnight when my phone rang. I was pacing around in my room, clad in my favorite yellow hoodie while clutching onto my teddy bear. I could scarcely breath- I was about to make a mistake. I prayed very hard for my heart to say the right things. I was trying very hard to trust the Lord to help me through the situation. I ended saying the wrong things and ended something that had the potential of becoming amazing and beautiful. Why? Because I was on the border of 'beyond confusion' and I wasn't even listening to God in the first place.I told Brody that I didn't want to date him anymore and that I just wanted soley for us to be friends. His voice reached a tone he has never used on me before... he was angry. "So, you're saying that we can't make this work?!"The call lasted for two miuntes and six seconds. I called Stephanie Callahan afterwards and laughed and chatted with her for an hour to keep my mind off Brody.
I went to bed feeling funny.

Thursday Night: Let's fix us.
I woke up the next moring feeling worse. I talked to Jessica and she told me to pray.And at the middle of the day, I texted Stephanie: Dear God... I think I made a mistake. If the Lord wanted me to end romantic terms with Brody, why was I feeling so terrible as if I really broke up with him? Beyond Confusion. Stephanie told me to think about what I wanted with Brody, then give him a call the next day. My heart was still hurting. That piece of advice just wasn't enough. The good feeling I felt after talking to Stephanie soon wore off when I began thinking about Brody's cute face.I contacted one of Brody's best friends, Stephanie Garcia. (She's close to me as well. ) She told me that couldn't talk to me at the moment because she was getting ready for Brody and their friends to come over.
My heart leapt. I was desperate for more advice. A few hours later, (and also talking to another friend)Stephanie Garcia called me. "What's wrong, Rose is it Brody? Yeah, he told me that you two aren't talking anymore! He was with the guys so he tried to act like he didn't care, but he does because, I looked at his face and he looked really confused. He said it was out of nowhere." After talking, I finally sent a Brody text. I couldn't call him. For one thing, the boy makes me say nonsense because, I'm so dang nervous around him and two, he was out and my friend Sarah had informed me that I should contact him as soon as possible. I shouldn't wait till tomorrow.
August 6,2009 10:53 PM.
I think I made a mistake last night and I can't get it out of my head. All that stuff I said last night was not right.I was just really confused and I'm so sorry. I honestly do like you and I want us to start over.
I sent the message and literally tossed my phone on my bed and raced out of my room. When I heard my phone go off, my heart was thumping against my chest. This mix-up made me realize how much I really do feel for Brody.
11:02pm
It's okay. You made a mistake and you learned from it, it's cool. =).
11:06pm
:) okay. So we're okay?
11:07pm
Ya it's fine. =)
Then after that, we just exchanged smilies. This is what I admire about Brody- he is very forgiving. He's so nice to me, my readers. I don't deserve him. I'm always saying crap and he still likes me. I can honestly see Jesus in his eyes, especially when he speaks to me. He has this soft expression... it's precious.

Friday Night: OH DEAR GOD...

I was really looking forward to this night. There was going to be The Atlanta Falcons Scrimmage at my old boyfriend's school. I love football and my sister were very excited. I was having a great day being out and enjoying the sun. When the time came for my sister and I to head over to the school, we had a little fear of bumping into my old boyfriend, Chris Angel. My sister harassed him on facebook after are very bad break-up. I haven't seen him since last October and in all honesty, I just didn't want to see him. Talk about a painful encounter. Anyway, the scrimmage was all fun and games. I made a new friend and Stephanie Garcia's cousin, Karen had joined me and my sister. We snapped shots of the totally hot quaterback, Matt Ryan and had a great time. Just about thirty miuntes left of the scrimmage, me, my sister, and Karen finally found decent spots on the bleachers. It was blazing hot and crowded. And to my slight shock, there was Chris Angel's father, sitting inches away from us. I turned back around and bit down my lip. No sign of Chris.

Good.

Twenty mintues passed. A decent amount of guys approach our side of the bleachers. The leader, I immediately recognized. It was Stephanie Callahan's boyfriend, Elton and... oh my God. I froze.

There right behind Elton was his gorgeous, well built, brown haired bestfriend. Samir.

OH HGCYTGUIOIKTD&^UIOL?!!! DEAR LORD.

I was still wearing my sun shades, but Samir glanced at me and I knew he was getting a little questionable on who I was.My heart was literally pounding. Samir and his friends sat right next to us. I could not believe it. Not wanting to stir up anything, I fumbled through my bag and sent a text to my sister who was sitting right behind me with Karen. I turned to her and when she read the text, she swore aloud and looked at me increduously, speaking in a low, urgent, voice. "WHAT?! SAMIR?!" How is this possible?! Out of all the seats... oh my God. This is definitely like The Hills." You know it's ironic? We went to the doctor's and saw his football recogniciton in a magazine and then we passed by his school on the way here!" I vowed to keep my shades on, but Samir knew it was me. I took them off.He kept glancing over. I couldn't watch the scrimmage and I knew he couldn't either. This was definitely a scene from The Hills. Friday night was definitely the worst awkward encounter I have ever had. My sister and Karen told me that I should just say hi and get it over with. My sister suggested a text. I contacted Elton's girlfriend first and she was not at all shocked. "They knew you were going to be there, Rose. Just say hi to them! Don't be a wus. Elton is asking if you're wearing a stripped shirt." Siging in defeat, I sent a Samir a text. Omg are you at the Falcon's Scrimmage?! I'm sitting right near you, wearing a stripped shirt.

I selected the 'send' button and I watched Samir take out his phone. He looked at the message and MOVED SEATS.

What. A. Jerk.

His friend moved along with him and I got up and greeted Elton. He greeted me warmly with a hug. "You didn' say hi to Samir?" He asked, questionably. I smiled. My sister and Karen got up from their seats too. "Oh my gosh, Rose I feel really awkward for you." My sister said with a pained expression. "What a jerk. He knows its you. Really obvious now." I sighed and I looked at him. Man. He was beautiful. I looked at my girls. "I'm going. Please come with me though, this is too much." But they immediately ditched me and I was left by myself. "Hey Samir!" I called. He turned. "Hey, what's up?" He checked me out and gave me a hug. He wasn't smiling nor looking me in the eye. "Nothing," I repiled, shyly hoping I wasn't looking too disgusting. He nodded."Nothing?" Samir looked at his phone and in an innocent tone he noted,"Oh you texted me."
Wow, jerk you think I'm an idoit? I SAW you taking out your phone and reading message AS SOON AS I had sent it. "Yeah!" I laughed. Then, Samir nodded and turned his back on me.

Jerk. Jerk. He's still mad and upset about me choosing Brody over him. He had messaged me on facebook, "jokingly accusing" me of not wanting to speak with him anymore and he just kept burning me over and over on the littlest things. Samir even had the audacity to say,"So, how's it goin with your man?" I know his feelings are hurt, but I don't think it's fair to me, if he acts like a jerk and try to make me feel terrible for my decision. I was being honest. "He's just mad at you and jealous of Brody, Rose." My sister had said. But you know what? He needs to get over himself, really. Just because you're hot football player, doesn't mean you get what you want. Samir's just the typical hotshot jock. He's not use to a lot of girls turning him down." Sometimes, the whole "honesty is the best policy thing" doesn't treat others very well. After my painfully awkward greeting with Samir, Elton had sensed the tension and gave me company. My sister and Karen were busy gawking at Matt Ryan, fighting their way to get his autograph. When the autograph signing was over, there were fireworks and sweet commotion. When the whole event was over, Samir kept his eye on me. My sister had noticed that. I just could not believe we bumped into him. The encouter was very terrible. I am so glad I didn't bump into Chris on top of that. Chris wrote on my wall on facebook that night, asking if I were at the game.

Gosh, never again. Seriously. Bumping into Samir at the gym would of been less severe... he had even watched me leave.

Dear Lord...

Now: Summer's End

I have Cheerleading practice all week( so demanding. ruined ALL of my plans yesterday.) Orientation is on Tuesday, and then classes start on Wednesday. JUNIOR YEAR, AW MAN HERE WE GO.

I'm enjoying my last late nights and freedom. I'm going to the park for icecream tomorrow and dance in the sun. Summer's goregous. I don't want her to leave me.

My Summer '09 Music Playlist

1) Day N' Nite-Kid Cudi

2)Starstrukk-30h3

3)Boom Boom Pow-Black Eyed Peas

4) Best I Ever Had-Drake

5)Successful-Drake

6)Clarity-John Mayer

7) In Your Bedroom-Cash Cash

8)The Birds- The Starting Line

9)Fire Burning On the Dance Floor-Sean Kingston

10)Seventeen-Metro Station

11)American Boy-Estelle feat. Kanye West

12) Ego-Beyonce ft. Kanye West

13) All Michael Jackson songs :)

14) The Fray's new abulm

15) More but I can't think of them.

Update Friday night! I've got a date with Brody Saturday. I'm excited. I think I may kiss him... :) and hold his hand just to know that I WILL be his girl.