Tell me how to feel

Yep, that's right.
Tell me how to feel.
The right way.
Because my heart feels way too strongly. There's no fence, no barrier. If you're sweet, my heart may give you a chance. If you love me so dearly, my heart will give itself away. That's how I'm wired, my darlings. One silly joke can sting me, a nasty remark can wound me. You can say I'm sensitive, but I don't think that is the right word to use. My heart is soft. I can feel things in there. Things, you may question? My emotions. I noticed this this past week when one of my teachers made a rather hurtful comment to me. Or comments. I wasn't necessarily "hurt", I was abashed.

Hurt.
I've been there. Where someone took a deep stab at your feelings. And man, I felt an emotion I have never felt. The tears would not stop falling and I would cry out with such emotion. I remember everything. Sometimes when I think about it, my eyes get all funny. I felt a hollow pit in my heart. I begged God to fix it. That however, is a different story for another time. I guess God made my heart that way. But with Him, it's fierce. My heart pounds furiously for love, for that is my strongest desire. Perhaps I made my heart that way. There is no right way to feel, I am sure of this now. We can't help the way we feel about things. Sometimes, it's our hearts that react before our minds. Hm, does that make sense?

Hearts and romance.
I kind of wish I had a significant other this Valentine's day. I was reading Seventeen magazine, and I found a page where I could get free makeover at Sephora. The styles of the page are gorgeous! Caroline and I going to get our makeup done for the Sadie Hawkins dance, but I wish I could look pretty for someone else instead of myself. I've got my friends and family for Valentine's. Isn't that enough? And Jesus is my Valentine. I can't help but to wish I had a date or something. I don't know what's going on with me. I thought I didn't care.

Blair can't go to the dance, because he's going out town. I was so disappointed and ever so embarrassed when I asked him to the dance. I baked him cookies and everything. My friends were watching me from across the cafeteria and his friends at his table became aware of what was going on. I was definitely in the spotlight. I remember retreating back to my table, my face burning up and with a funny look on my face. "Are you about to cry? Evan asked, alarmed. "No, I sighed, as I sat back down." I'm embarrassed. He can't go, because he's going out of town." " Man, that sucks. Jack said. "Did you get your cookies back?" I shook my head. " I told him he could keep everything."
Tell me how to feel. The right way.

"What?! I would of been like, 'give me my cookies back! Haha!"
The bell rang and we were all rushing to get to first period. Mel and I were last at our table. She looked at my face expression.
"Aw you're so sweet. She said. "Cheer up, Ro Ro. At least you tried. It's not like he said, 'no.'' Very true, but I was certain that I was going to have a dance to Sadie, and it was going to be Blair. was going to happen. Evan and Savanna said that Blair would of said yes if he was able to attend. "He flirts, Evan said. "Yeah, Savanna agreed. "He definitely flirts with you." Then, towards the end of the day, Stephanie (who's going to the dance with the Reid Carmicheal and Ginger is furious with envy) told me in biology that she heard Blair and his friend, Sam talking and it sounded like Blair lied to me. Stephanie told me what she heard, when she passed and I got angry. "What the crap?! You've got to be kidding me." I hissed. My friend shook her head. "If we see him at the dance, I'm going to whupp his butt."

Tell me how to feel. The right way.
At the end of the day, I just stopped caring. Whatever. Just a dance. I thought. Blair didn't have to lie to me. He could of just said no, or say,' I'm not planning to attend.'However, It turns out that Stephanie was just hearing things. I mean, Blair had apologized to me twice, so the doubt of him lying to me was kind of strong. I'm glad my heart was right. I'm going to begin to ask my hearts the questions, for our heats knows what's best for us. It has all the right answers. Our hearts are 'answering machines'.

Tell me how to feel... the right way.