Second chance love

All Hail Christ the King. <3
It's the holiday season. :)
Ah, my favorite time of year.
Where love and family seems to wrap everyone in the warmest blanket. Love...
So apparently, Trevor is in love with me. I'm not going to tell you how he told me. That piece of information is unnecessary. I got so incredibly scared. I started to freak out and quickly, I dialed Jessica's number. "He's lying. She said. "Don't believe him and don't take it so seriously." Like, are you KIDDING me?! Trevor, you don't love me. We've only been talking for a week! Don't play with the word, love. It's not a toy. I'm actually kind of scared of him. I gave him my number Tuesday night and he called me the next day like he promised. I was feeling the sparks then, but they totally died after one phone conversation. I hope I don't sound like a brat, but Trevor acts differently on the internet. I like the Trevor on facebook- on the telephone, not so much. In the romantic sense. I shouldn't of given him my number though. He's a total stranger and what I've done was totally reckless. My bestfriend was very disappointed in me. My sister was scared, and as for the friends at school? They haven't a clue what's been going on. I'm not going to tell them either. They'll be thoroughly upset. Meeting a guy on the internet and then giving him my cell number? WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?! He calles me every single night. I don't mind, because it's nice to have the phone ringing again...

Trevor is not dangerous. He seems harmless, but the way he describes sometimes makes me question. He does have a violent side and he's .... somewhat childish. I don't want to trash him or anything, but simply Trevor is not my type... at all. He's nice and he can be very sweet.... but no. I can only see him as a friend. I thought Trevor would probably someone I could consider dating in the future( before talking on the phone) and now I'm stuck in this. He wrote me a letter and sent it to me through facebook and the last line was, "You fill my heart with sunshine." And on chat, "Your name? Origin:heaven. meaning:pure,friendly, caring, and wonderful." "You fill my heart with sunshine?! Jessica had exclaimed. "That's really sweet but, it's only been a week!" I have to agree. He does not love me. I didn't reply. I couldn't.
I don't even like him romantically.
He said that he's going to come to Atlanta for the summer,(he has family and friends here) so we can meet and then he will wait for me to graduate.
I don't know, my readers he's just not...

Chris Angel. At all. They're two totally different people. It's not fair that I'm comparing Trevor to Chris, but Chris actually met my standards and we matched... perfectly. The instant chemistry says it all. The chemistry was hardly there when I first spoke to Trevor, and it's still absent.I just can't seem to find a guy just like him or I don't know... better than him? I was looking through our pictures last night, and my heart ached. Not too terribly though. I'm over the break-up now, but that doesn't mean I won't give Chris Angel a second chance. I so would. He's amazing. Really he is. My gosh, you have no idea. He was a very good boyfriend to me. He's different from most guys. And, if we do end up just "casually dating" someday, I wouldn't give a crap what people would say. Most my friends are full of contempt for him for what he did, but I'm not. That's what forgiveness is. No bitterness. First though, I want to rekindle the friendship. I don't think we could consider each other friends at the moment. I always have a weird feeling that he just doesn't want to talk to me, but to my utter shock Mel said he asked about me the other day. "How's Rose? Is she okay?"

Mel told me that Chris wasn't into his new girlfriend that much. "She's a nice girl, but she's just not exciting. Sometimes I "like" her and sometimes I don't." When she told me this, I got irritated. " Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?!" I have to confess... I was happy to hear this. (And you know why) Ah, I'm such a brat. Honestly, Chris just doesn't know what he wants. Mel told him that he should just "casual date" and he kinda wants to take her advice. That boy is going to break so many hearts if he keeps up the "middle school relationship behavior." He shouldn't settle. Not right now at least. Him and his girlfriend broke up today and I feel sorry for him. Really, I do. I saw the new statuses and everything and I'm guessing his girlfriend broke up with him. Oh dear. From what I read from his status, he's not happy. I wish I could talk to him, but I highly don't he wants comfort from his ex-girlfriend. Is my chance to get him back here? Probably not as girlfriend and boyfriend... but you know what I mean right? Friendship first.
Chris Angel is for me. Maybe not for eternity, but there's still a chance to be "us" again. (Uh, I hope I'm not contradicting myself. Haha.) Oh, am I being downright selfish and desperate?!

Quote found on classmate's facebook: "There's a time when you realize who matters. you only live once. If you want someone, get them. screw all the haters."