When I was about fourteen years old, I went through a short, but sudden series of loneliness. To this day, I wonder how I turned out to feel this way. I felt like I was detached from the 'world of the other teenagers.'(aka my peers) I felt disconnected and different. Amongst them, I thought differently and to put it simply, I was just different. I just didn't think the way the average fourteen did. While my friends concentrated on romance, I concentrated on my writing. I tried to figure out how life truly worked and I would do random research on questions that I had. But, I honestly don't know how I captured this kind of emotion so quickly and unexpectedly. I had many people that surrounded me.We all get lonely at times. It's human, it's normal. What causes us to feel lonely? Why do we feel lonely when there's people everywhere who can care for you? I talked to my cousin, Nicole who I was very close with and as I was telling her this at the time, I burst into tears. For awhile, I thought maybe I was just imagining things and I just wasn't thinking straight. Nicole was very understanding and she didn't think I was going insane."You're right, she said, soothingly. You don't think like other fourteen year olds. It's okay. Talk to God about it." I did what my cousin told me to do and soon enough at fifteen I can't possibly see how I became incredibly lonely! It's so strange and it really make any sense to me. Maybe God was trying to tell me something. Maybe he was crying out my name, wanting me to come closer to Him. After all, He is the only one who can fulfil us with pure happiness. Sometimes I do talk to God about everything. I would lie down in bed and speak to Him about anything. I would offer Him my hopes, my fears, my tears, and happiness. At times I would whisper, "God? Are you there? Are you really listening?" Sometimes, I do question my faith. Again, that's normal. We all find ourselves doing that at some point in our lives. I know He's there. If only... if only... I could feel His presence by my side. I mean, I feel safe whenever I pray to Him. I feel safe and loved. But I actually want to feel God griping onto my hand and showing me the way. I'm feeling distant from Him. I want to get closer, and I don't know how.
Cheer tip of the day:" Make sure you get inshape for the season! Get your school spirit in gear and practice those smiles and cheers!"
Posts
16 comments:
You are a very wise and mature person! I only wish other people thought like you do!! This blog is awesome, I try to read it as much as I can!
back in md school i used 2 have like 5 friends, bcuz i nvr let any1 get close 2 me and ended up somehow ruining all my friendships that id had b4 that, i thought that if ppl wanted 2 talk 2 me they would, and i didnt wanna talk 2 them if they didnt come 2 me. as i look back i c that tons of ppl came and talked 2 me, i also c a the horrid attempts at flirting that some of them did, that i kinda ignored, it feels great 2 c ppl flirt w/ u, like u rnt worthless or ugly, besides that when ppl flirt w/ me, even ppl i just want as friends, it lifts my day up and makes me feel so much better.
cousins are AMAZING, they just are and i have over 30
For me it happened in 7th grade, the first part. I think I know what triggered those thoughts, but that should be pasted somewhere else.
I went through the same thing... It sucked!!
Great write!!
**Miss. Maddie**
I know, I hang with a friend like everyday. Sometimes I feel like a hobo that lives at buddies houses and not my own. Then when I get home I call someone and they can't do it. I feel lonley even though I know in my head in 2 days I will be ubbberr buzzy. Idk.
I think everyone goes through that phase ( I definitely did ) and it's extraordinary that you came out of it knowing yourself, and God, a little better.
peace&love.
Haha, I'm sorry my hippie bus shows up there... I think it's cause that's the title of my blog. Ha dang, I'm sorry!
& Yeah thanks! Haha I laughed at your Cameron comment =]
Btw, I know how you feel about being lonely. Just remember, God is always there right by your side.. listening and watching and looking out for you! Even if you can't feel him ... He's there. Don't ever forget that! I'm sure you won't, haha I just thought I'd remind you =]
I know what you mean about feeling distant though, I think everyone's going through a bit of that right now.. We talked about it at church the other day.. My pastor was saying how recently HE HIMSELF has felt distant from God. But I think this is just God's way of making us CLOSER to him, the more distant we feel the more we WANT to be closer.. and the more we TRY. One of these days God is going to pull us all CLOSER THAN EVER to him and there is going to be GREAT breakthrough all over the place. Just keep on pressing on and don't let go of his grip.. Everything will be better off in the end! :D
Hhah, I tried =]
aww ((hugs)).
I think it's okay and a lot of people feel alone at certain times, or as if no one understand them. It's good you have your faith to keep you happy, some don't even have that.
but if you ever feel lonely, and you looking for similar people, with similar interests, perhaps you should join a group, or class aimed at one of your interests, and you might meet similar people.
You said you didn't feel like most fourteen-year-olds, but I think that is a good thing. I think being different and unique is a wonderful quality (which you have btw ;-)). But I understand your lonliness. When I was 12 I withdrew and I was labled as the weird girl. But that helped me accept myself and be more comfortable with who I am. You also said you're feeling distant from God, but I've noticed that you seem a lot closer to Him than most people I know. And if you make the effort, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Oh jeez, that salad.
It was so good, I could cry.
Well ... maybe not :)
Ahhh that's sweet you subscribed to Teen Vogue. It's amazing! Every now and then they include special mini-mag supplements too. You'll &hearts it.
peace&♥.
Hm...
I actually think everyone has gone through the lonely phase in their life...
It lasts for whenever.. Like I started when I was 12, but it can continue.
As for the last part, I've questioned my faith too, but I suppose you just got to have faith.
Nice post. =]
u have no idea how thick headed i used 2 be, i was so stubborn that i nvr thought ppl liked me, now that ive opend my mind 2 that possibility, im just blown away by how many ppl do that w/ me,GO HIGHER SELF ESTEEM!!!!!!!!!!1 lmao
Haha thanks I did have alot of fun painting!!! lol I hope you are doing daisy playsy!!! I am doing Daisy Lazy if you know what I mean haha I am so pooped from doing all that work!! it's alot of hard work!! and the worst thing is I am still not finished :-) but the blue walls are soothing and they are awesome!! I have a question by the way and which I meant to say Awsome Post!!! and I think you are right everyone does truly feel that way sometimes!! anyway my question was is that ashlee simpson as the picture on your blog? because that really looks like her:-) just curious :-)
God Bless♥
~Kristin
"Sometimes, I do question my faith. Again, that's normal."
you are human and at times we all feel rejected and lonely but just to know that some one cares and loves us makes us keep pushing
Post a Comment