Food

At the age of ten food became my enemy. I would eat it, but I would intentionally eat very small portions. I looked half starved and weak. No one really suspected that I was going through an internal battle with my self-image. People just thought I was going through a phase or something. At that time, I would constantly weigh my self on scale, had frequent back pains, and the intense fear of becoming fat. I didn't necessarily strave myself, I just didn't eat enough... purposely. I remember one night my family and I went to a friend's house to eat and although the meal tasted so delicious, I barely finished my plate. " Rose just starved herself." She joked. I was in the dining room when I heard my mother say those words. I ignored them and just shrugged. I thought I was doing the right thing of not eating alot to stay thin. I thought I was okay. I'm not even sure what I was going through back then. Was it really an eating disorder or just an act of self-hatered? Was it a little of both? I honestly don't think I went through an eating disorder, I was just having this uncontrollabe vision of becoming fat. This ordeal went on for about a year, I think. I remember all this vaguely. Towards the end of fifth grade I changed my mind about what I call, "half starving myself. What changed my mind, you ask?

Well, in fifth grade the girls and guys were giving this puberty talk(seperately) and the guest speaker talked to the girls on how being too thin would delay puberty. You won't develop breasts soon enough and your period may come later. I must admit, I was concerned at that age. I wanted breasts and I wanted my period. So gradually, I ate- properly. Now, I can't stop eating. LOL. :) But there is someone I am concerned about- my little sister who is ten years old. Jenny, is her name. And Jenny loves food. She devours on sweets and junk food and would not stop eating those kinds of things. She just can't. I honestly don't think my mom knows what an eating problem is, because her lame " She's going through a growth spurt" does not always fit in the eating situation. But, I'm getting really concerned because the doctor said that she's a bit overweight. Caroline and I (my other sister-14 years old) try to get Jenny to take walks with us (we even gave her a talk) but the little girl won't budge. She simply does not care and it's killing me to see this girl just eating junk without a care in the world about her health.

Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm still going through an eating problem. I'm trying to gain weight for the wrong reasons but yet again I'm working out and trying to eat healthier because of cheerleading and my tummy fat. Why do some many girls and women go through such eating ordeals? Here are my views: One, the female body gets too much attention. In general, us girls get too much attention. For example, weddings. When the bride walks down the ailse, all is hushed and everyone has their eye on that bride. But when the groom comes, there is no stunning silence and sometimes no awe. Why? I don't know. Two, girls and women are prone to get sucked into the media a bit more easily than guys. Once again, that all goes back to getting too much attention. However, I think the celebrities go through more hell than anyone else when it comes to body image. Celebrities get insecure, probably alot worse than we do since they are told to "change this, change that," everyday.

Cheer quote of the day:"Cheerleading sneakers...$50; Cheerleading Camp...$130; Cheerleading uniform...$175; Being the Cougar Coach and seeing their smiles after coming in second place at CYO competition...PRICELESS" Author Lisa, Staten Island, NY, USA