Whirlpool

New year fetches new company- good and bad. As I am strolling along this month, gearing into school mode,  I watch my surroundings. Peering within them and soaking up every ounce of it. 

I have observed a lot of sorrow this month. From long term relationships, to deaths, bonds are breaking. I am not discouraged. I believe God's voice is translated into stories that make up our personal lives. Everything truly does happen for a reason, and it happens in a certain season. Life is a beautiful gift. This is the year when I graduate from college. As I prepare myself spiritually and emotionally for this new journey, I know what God has in store for me is good. I am not afraid of challenges. Strive to grow from difficult times. That's when we know how strong we are. Life can be a whirlpool but when we hang onto our faith and our loved ones, we cannot drown. Adorn yourself with positive vibes.  We hear, "Life is far too short," on the daily, but do we really drink up this words and let them travel to our soul? What good does it do for us to wallow in what we do not have instead of what we can achieve for? The only contest I signed up for is to become the best version of "Me." And I'm the only contestant. I am filled with joy knowing with patience and support, my life is mine. How freeing it is to not give the slightest inkling of what others think! 

Love Letters Part 2

When you fall in love, heartbeats become telepathy and conversations recites diaries. 

I watch you. The way you speak to me vibrates in my soul, like violin strings-vibrato. Pulsating affection only the soul can yearn for. Trampled in a daze we were sitting in a restaurant with dimmed lights and hushed happiness. I felt your eyes on me, but I could hear the sparkle in your smile when you whispered, "I love you." The emotions that you declared to me set my heart on fire. So delicate that only God will know. You are perfect to me. Everything about you is authored by the Heavenly Father. Your kindness, your hilarity, your mind are my daily doses of inspiration and clarity. I am mesmerized into a fantasy of you. 

4 years ago.

I dialed your number and knew you were mine, and I was yours. Strong, handsome, sweet you. On New Years Day, we sat across from each other. Instantaneously I praised, I see Jesus in your eyes. And you caught me by surprise, smiling through my tears. At times, I cannot stand it when you reprimand me. Still, I cling onto your every word. In the heat of the moment, sass can reek from my tongue, but I silently honor your name.

You.

Mighty you. Funny you. Your dreams are pieces of my very own. Two become one, pieces to puzzle.The way your face glows when you crack a joke, head bobbing to the music that blares in your car, I watch as you move and I see something in you. I have witnessed every emotion that has escaped from your soul.  Every triumph and very struggle, I'm in this. With you.

Your body. My eyes draw to the strength of your back. Engraved with muscles and full of strength. Your lips, your lips, your laugh... better than the sweetest ice cream sundae, I melt into you. I am not ashamed to say that I need you, because I do. I belong to you. Time has withered into breathless intimacy, something that has literally transformed every inkling of our being. I am in love with the way you sleep. The peace that emulates from your soul is contagious.  Every second you are on my mind. You drive me crazy immensely, but I am in love with how you delved into my life like a miracle. I treasure the goodness that is sewed into your heart. It is a garden- so beautiful that nothing dark, tainted, or sorrowful could  ever obliterate it. You bare the cape of superman and I am blinded in awe by the man that you are.

Cleanse

                          

My Soul Cleansers for 2015

1. Strengthen my relationship with God. Sleepy prayers are not good enough. There are days when I feel so far. But who moved? Me. I need sit down at His feet, pour my heart over His word and allow it to wreck my soul. I need a wakeup call.

2. Publish my first book. A dream that will finally transform entire world

3. Obtain the abdominal I desire. By tweaking my diet a bit further and continuing my hard work in the gym, I know I will accomplish this goal. Our bodies are temples from God. I want to achieve my highest form of health.

4.Stop fearing the "What are your post graduation plans?" and reply with confidence that the unknown is bound to happen.

5.Detox from negative thoughts daily. Write them down and toss them into the trash can.

6. Win my dream title. Details to come.

7. Never neglect this blog.

Happy 2015.

Toxins

Crazy, cruel life. Blinded by tears mylife instantaneously   warped into a nightmare that wrecked the inner linings of my delicate soul. Nearly, suicide was dragging one of my closet family member into its web. I couldn't believe it when my best friend told me that grasping onto a bottle of pills would aile her stress and mend her deep wounds. No! I cry, weeping and hanging onto my best friends for dear life. I was on spring break then. I have never been so thankful for my loved ones who took care of me and my family member during this incredibly dark time of our lives. I've never felt so heartbroken, but I cannot imagine what my best friend is battling. 

This year has been a struggle for my family financially. My dad moved out of the  country a few years ago to launch his dream career. Initially, it was extremely difficult accepting the changes my family and I to endure for the longest time. There were moments when I could not even afford to go out with my friends because the money that I was making did not suffice for the week. My mother lost her job last summer so we are all dependent on my father. There is beauty in a struggle. Now, my dad's dream has begun. 

I've lost friends who were enemies in disguise. Opportunities arrived, grew, and shattered. I was convinced that I was developing an emotional disorder from the stress I was experiencing from school and home. I couldn't bare it. I felt emotions that rattled my bones. I try to forget about them like yesterday's news, but as a writer, when is that ever possible? 

I am not writing this post to complain about my year. Infact, I have many sweet treasures that I will never forget that happenedto me this year . I have a dear friend who generously made my dream come true by raising funds for me- all of them to compete in a big state pageant that I have always dreamt of. My favorite professor  in the world encouraged me to become a published author, a wild desire that I can never tame.  And, whenever someone asks me what my post grad plans are I get to whisper with a smile... "New city, new me. Possibly. Wait and see."

Merry Christmas

.Merry Christmas, world.

It's been such a fantastic break. I am thoroughly filled with joy on how God has blessed me with such sweet memories this Christmas season. I am savoring every second I have to explore different arenas in my life to prepare myself for the new year. As the sun rises and falls, I catch a glimpse of my 2014. 

My darkest year. Tomorrow, I will reveal the undergarments of my soul

My Christmas Wish

Dear Santa Claus,
As the year envelopes and the weather becomes crispy, I am sitting here and reflecting on my challenges, triumphs, tears, and smiles. I have grown yes, and there's nothing that I want more than to continue this growth. Christmastime is so beautiful, as you are very well aware. I adore the carols and the hearts that are so open to sharing their time and riches to guide those who do not have much. I have a lot to be grateful for as I lay down to rest in my warmest blanket every night. This precious season has such a unique and compelling way to open hearts. I believe we are all called to serve and take care of each other. We are all here-living, breathing, for a higher purpose. The flickering of bright Christmas lights and the beauty of heavily decorated trees are stunning to me. Sipping warm cocoa and dancing to old fashioned carols are the little memories that I will always relive. Jesus' birthday is full of joy to me, but I am aware that others do not share the same sentiment. I understand that this time of year can be rather difficult. With flashy dollar signs and the consistent reminder to spend, one can get lost in a maze as to what the true meaning of Christmas.
Santa, I want to thank you for prompting children to be nice instead of naughty. Kindness is a gem that everyone must have in their possessions. It is too bad that some adults cannot seem to follow this rule. My wish to you is to remind children and adults around the world that we are called to be angels to each other. I know it can be rather difficult and I would be painfully naive to think everyone would care about the rule. I am aware that perhaps, maybe this isn't possible. But, I'm wrapping this desire as my Christmas wish... regardless of what could really happen. God forms miracles. Jesus is our miracle. I have learned and from what God has said, not everyone will follow His will.
 Who is to say that  God told us to lose hope and stop praying?  Pray with me, Santa.
Love, Rose

The Makeup Brush

The power behind the makeup brush is quite amazing to me. As a woman who feels strongly about the art of makeup, I think these foundations, blushes, lashes, colors, can truly transform the face of a human being. It is actually frightening how an assortment of  paint can form a new picture. I enjoy makeup because it enhances the features of the individual. Every eye color, bone structure, and eye shape is so beautifully traced.I think make up is alluring and personally, strange and wonderful things happen when I work on myself from the outside in. The glamour of makeup lures me in. Makeup and confidence are distant cousins. Why must our appearances replace  our birth names? Our names are meant to be used to form an identity, not these temporary objects that we use. 

Makeup is a form of art that I have much respect for. This tool is not meant for hiding. Like an artist, one must conjure a plan or layout as to how they would like their portrait to be seen amongst the world. Make up can cover up flaws, not envelope them. The only mask I would ever wear are the clay ones to smooth my skin. I have nothing to shield from the world, except for my naked soul. My authenticity isn't measured by the makeup that I wear, but the words that I share and the actions I display. My paint is my accessory when I wake up in the morning. Shaming women in using these intricate pieces of makeup is useless. I encourage anyone using safe and harmless tools to make them feel at peace with how they present themselves to the world. Not wearing makeup does not place a woman on the highest throne. Women are gorgeous with or without these paints. Be fear from judgement and create your own portrait. Our bodies are canvases. We make the ultimate decision to contour, highlight, and carve whatever we like.  After all,the flesh of freedom is choice. 

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