Easter Wishes

             

Wishing  all of my rose petals a Happy Easter. What a beautiful life God has granted us because Jesus died for a sins and rose from the dead! God can make the scariest things brand new and whole again. But, we have to let go. God gives us the choice to do so. 

April, my dear

I have the desire to travel the unknown. 

To stick my head above the clouds and wrap my sense of environment to an adventurous abyss. I was not created to sit in one place,...to drink the same cup of tea immensely. See the same things, the same crowd.

No. I have a heart of a nomad. I day dream of sinking my teeth into the freshest of fruits, soaking  my ears to the beat of a drum, and swim in a sea full of different people. I am feeling very happy today because I know there is something for me out there. Who knows what is it.

Is it wrapped in gold, the color blaring in my face so harshly that I can barely see it? What is my purpose?   At nigh,t I pray underneath the stars, my rosary neatly decorated in between fingers as I whisper my deepest thoughts to the Lord.Why do my ambitions keep changing? Because I am growing, molding my womanhood from how I experience every situation and cherish every laugh. My life is recorded by memories. Some pleasant, soft, harsh, dark, sweet... the list goes on. In May, I will finally have the freedom to experience what? A new career? A crown? Progress? The beauty of life is that we do not know what tomorrow brings. That is so beautiful to me that I am scared, so scared that I always forget this. April, my dear. You're here. I am dancing in a life where my peers are saying," I do," and where we are anxiously dreaming of the day to walk across the stage, have a stunning salary, and call ourselves by our successes and failures. Growing up is so odd to me. I am still peacefully(not always ha!) sleeping under my parents' house but I am not under the wing. See, I rely on them for quite a lot in my life because I am in no hurry to pack my bags. I am waiting. I am waiting for the day opportunity and hard work allows me to leave. At 22, I still have growing to do. There are many things that I am surrounded by that puzzle me. So, I wait. I learn. And listen well.

Growth

Crowned in His glory, I am saved. Protected. Cherished.

As I begin to transition into the next chapter of my adult life, I have developed a sixth sense on what God has been whispering in my ear. Lately, I've seen the painter behind the masterpieces I call friends. And boy, the colors have been striking. So striking that I now know who are my lifetime friends. People who I considered to be siblings have transformed or revealed from what he he been hiding for me. Time reveals all. 

Love Letters Part 3

I love you. 

Slowly, I watch you transform into the man God calls you to become. Like magic, I'm breathless as I see your smile and your soul work into my life. You have taught me things I  will never forget.

Cherished, buried, locked into my inner being. 

Thankyou. 

For teaching me what it means to be a family. Green with envy, I cringe and beam as I watch your family so intact, so perfect. You're lucky. 

And I know one day when you have your own, you will be king of the house, and I your queen. It is incredible how you treasure every being. You're special. Amazing you. 

Something has come over me. A tide of emotion envelopes me whole whenever you are hurt. I am crazy for you. 

It is beautiful to watch you work. Out in the field of your passion, my heart lights aflame for the joy that you have. It is my dream to have yours come true.

Sunrises.
I wake up next to you and I'm engulfed in your embrace. Your peacefulness is so contagious that I feel as one.  Like music, your voice brings me emotion. I can listening to you till the next sunrise. I am in love with the way you discipline yourself. You are a window of hope, I see stars in your eyes. 

Time. 

My soul goes back to day one, I'm looking into another version of myself.
You.

I've seen every side of you, and it's blurred vision because I still see your deepest soul. Sweet you. Funny you. Strong you. Mad you.  Even in your darkest hour, you still look handsome in the thunderstorm. We talk, we laugh, we smile. Lightening dashes across the sky and you kiss my hand. My soul is on fire full of you. 

Blessings. 

The smoothness of your voice is the sweet agave drizzled in my oatmeal. Your  patience swallows me in the warmest of love. I melt into your presence when I feel your eyes on me. I could stay with you forever.
Laughter. We bond over meals and television that seizes every moment and add another page to the diary.

I take care of you. Love makes me feel all of the right things. My heart triumphs to the rhythm of selflessness. After all, we are teammates. I wear your number on my back.
One.
 I am so in terribly, incredibly, and deeply in love with you. I'm intoxicated. I grip onto my stomach as I try to envision life without you. I grow ill.
No one in this life is perfect, but your perfect for me. Dance in this life with me, but don't go too fast. I'm frantic in losing you.
I simply cannot stand leaving you. Driving, rolling my window down and bidding goodbye. It's like leaving home with no security. Telephones can't feel emotion, desire, and longing. What have you done to me, man? I am cast under a spell.
 Distance is a challenge that can sting like a blunt of a sword, but it tastes sweet and breathless when we are close. You are worth more to me than you'll ever know. 

My warrior. 

Cupcakes

Today is my birthday and I am feeling 22(Thank you Taylor Swift. This is me in the photo, by the way).Naturally, I am in a fantastic mood. I am enjoying the sweet phone calls, texts, tweets, and Instagram comments. Birthdays are so precious to me. And today while I was daydreaming in my Telecommunications class, I had a revelation that rumbled my soul. 

What if we treated every day like a birthday? Feel blessed as soon as we woke  up and treated others with a thoughtful touch or comment as soon as we walked out the door? Well, that would be grand! We shouldn't wait till birthdays to feel a great sense of gratitude for the life that we have and the family and friends that encompass the most tender moments of our lives. We were never promised an easy life, but the liberty to understand that at this moment, this is where we ought to be. Growing, feeling, and learning about the life that lies ahead. 

Happy birthday to us. 

Radical

Today, I was feeling irritated and angry.

My mother is a micro manager and as usual, I was having difficulty keeping my snappiness to an appropriate level as well as  letting stress take over my lack of organizational skills. I was no happy camper today.

As I was driving home from the gym with aching abs and arms, I reflected on something deep, troubling, and moving. I pondering on how as Christians, we must display a lifestyle that will allow a nonbeliever to stop in their tracks and squeal, " Am I missing out?". Some of my peers call me a radical Catholic. Perhaps, by societal standards. But if accepting someone for who they are and firmly believing the Almighty God is forever merciful, no matter what we do, than I am darn right radical.

  The origin of Christianity comes from the purest form of  love.

Let's act like where we came from. 

I witness Christians embezzling, raping, abandoning, using others, murdering, and abusing God's greatest creation- people.  WHAT are we doing out here? The world is a beautiful tragedy, but in order to fulfill God's will, we have to look into ourselves in the mirror and question  whether or not we are truly soaking up the Gospel or are we soaking up own earthly(and temporary) standards. Perfection is unattainable, but you do not have to be perfect to know how to accept and treat others with the Golden Rule. I am exhausted from the disgusting hate, revenge, and hurtfulness that I read and witness from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am famished to see us work harder for kindness and truly understand where we come from. God is so good. We can make this change because frankly, there is no other choice that will save your soul. As you lay down to sleep at night, pray that Christians around the world accept others and truly display The crown of Christianity.

Flawful

They say wisdom comes with age...
I say age comes  with confidence. My heart aches for my highschool soul. It was damaged, wilted, broken, and scarred. Wrecked with emotion, bad guys, and low self-esteem, I allowed myself to swim in the gutter. Now at 21, I take my flaws one by one, not by the pinch of my finger, but as a handful. I bare no shame that yes, my heart is painfully sensitive, my demeanor can turn sour, and that room is persistently decorated in a large, beautiful mess.
Flawful.
I dream big because I want it all, but give me a map and  I'm  dashed away in circles. Whirlpools.. drowning. I have to plan slow, need to plan smart. After all, God has the final say so.
Flawful
 I am hasty to trust, but I close the door behind me when I feel betrayed, Grudges are not in my cup of tea, however no one ever wants to reminisce on the bitter aftertaste. Yes, people deserve second chances, yet some healed scars  can never vanish. I block, I ignore, I move on... quickly.
Flawful.
Leave it me to obsess over the latest workouts, hair, and makeup. Looking my best is apart of my self-test but I lose control.
Despite all of my blemishes, makeup will never cover up who I am as a woman. I am royalty in the eyes of Jesus. He sees something in me that no one else can. Don't mind me. My flaws are apart of the personal testimony.
"I woke up like this."-Beyonce